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No good deed…

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 342

Lucid boredom

By Wasted effort - 02/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally managed to have a lucid dream. I went to soar across the sky like Superman. Nothing happened. I went to have dream sex with a hot babe. Her body was just a blur and I didn't feel anything. I literally cannot recall the last time I was so disappointed in anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 168

Not enough RAM

By Chris - 04/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I got a notification that my package had been delivered. I searched my porch, checked with my neighbors, and even contacted customer support. It was sitting in my car's trunk because I'd picked it up from a parcel locker yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 418

The truth bomb

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I found out that my son didn’t have to work over Christmas because he "didn’t have enough seniority to get time off." He actually volunteered so that he didn’t have to spend the holiday with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 428

Free money

By Nick - 09/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 169

Get me the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Durham

Today, I tried to find a cheap apartment to get away from my toxic parents. There seems to be only one that's in my budget and it has abysmal reviews. The job market is in the crapper, so the odds of getting a better-paying job anytime soon are slim to none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 67

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 59

Sabotage

By FuckUp - 24/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I can't afford to lose my job but I've been consciously sabotaging my job for months now. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that I am untrustworthy and need to improve. I'm smart and have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I had a great work ethic in my previous job, even winning awards for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 508

Respect the hustle

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 12:00 - South Africa - Nelspruit

Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 104

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The Top

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 547

You deserved it 3 382

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 083

You deserved it 75 614

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 042

You deserved it 101 176

Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 302

Today, I woke up to my friends-with-benefits asking me why I didn't pray after waking up. We had an all nighter and I don't even know if that's something to be worried about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 208

Today, I've been so starved of any and all physical affection in my 25 years of life, I got aroused from seeing someone cuddle up to my Final Fantasy XIV character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 271