Leaky ballon knot By Kelly - 21/01/2026 03:00 Today, as usual I am allergic to onions (I fart A LOT if I eat any). It seems there were some in my breakfast sausage meal as I spent the day having major diarrhea; I'm shitting once an hour. That would be okay if I'd stayed home, but my sister asked me to pick her up at school. Guess who shit herself while driving… FML I agree, your life sucks 203 You deserved it 67 Share Tweet Share
Get your facts straight By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 09:00 Today, while drunk, my brother got on my computer onto my already logged in Wikipedia account and made a few bad edits. He got me reported for vandalism, sending abusive messages to other editors, and banned from editing, pending appeal. FML I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 58 Share Tweet Share
Never the twain By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 12:00 Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML I agree, your life sucks 69 You deserved it 44 Share Tweet Share
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 665
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to weekly talks about anything that is bothering us, since we’ve been arguing a lot lately. So far, every talk has been her moaning at me about how I annoy her, yet when I try to have my say, she interrupts or yells at me for blaming her for our problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 174 You deserved it 190
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 447 You deserved it 2 775
Today, after medication, relaxation, sleep hygiene, and various other remedies for my insomnia failed, I've resorted to listening to an alien conspiracy podcast to fall asleep. The content is so insane and his voice is so monotone, I swear my brain shuts down in protest. FML I agree, your life sucks 863 You deserved it 110
Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 563 You deserved it 12 893
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 472 You deserved it 43 851