The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Barstaff - 24/12/2009 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 826

You deserved it 2 418

By Kev - 20/08/2014 17:53 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 086

You deserved it 43 878

Cutting corners

By givemestrength - 14/08/2014 10:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 552

You deserved it 3 290

By ggbhghggg - 18/11/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 687

You deserved it 42 633

By Anonymous - 03/10/2015 07:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 117

You deserved it 12 574

By lrn2road - 24/06/2014 15:04 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 495

You deserved it 4 546

By waitress - 12/04/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 672

You deserved it 4 288

By GT716 - 07/04/2009 12:50 - United States

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 055

You deserved it 13 948

By BadStuden - 05/10/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 810

You deserved it 59 072

By ShadowBox - 12/03/2013 16:43 - Netherlands - Herveld

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 665

You deserved it 5 639

ShadowBox tells us more.

ShadowBox 8

Monday 1 July 2013 8:37

I still tend to have weird dreams like these occasionally, except now they're less Romantic-Comedy, more Saw. -_- On the bright side, I did meet someone a few weeks ago ^.^ Nothing official but we're getting there.

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 781

You deserved it 80 980

By CWoah - 14/09/2009 15:17 - Canada

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 043

You deserved it 69 995

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 22:21 - Canada - Surrey

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 813

You deserved it 5 571

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 813

You deserved it 2 931

By nsJ - 15/07/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 134

You deserved it 3 548

By sos - 17/01/2011 03:59 - United States

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 272

You deserved it 4 726

By Sad Chef ;( - 05/12/2014 03:33 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 006

You deserved it 3 366

By sirradel - 19/08/2013 23:15 - United States

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 021

You deserved it 37 590

sirradel tells us more.

sirradel 14

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:42

OP here guys! Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.

WTF just happened?

By Carnage23 - 22/11/2014 10:16 - Germany - Essen

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss then announced that he's coming with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 4 017

Red flag

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elk River

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 306

You deserved it 3 737

You tried

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 756

You deserved it 3 974

By Interrupted - 27/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 894

You deserved it 8 169

By michelle - 15/11/2015 15:21 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 414

You deserved it 2 877

By Puzzlepiece - 28/06/2014 14:08 - Australia - Lakemba

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 236

You deserved it 6 612

By over prtective father - 24/06/2014 04:35 - United States - Washington

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 648

You deserved it 5 561

Brat era

By bastards - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 638

You deserved it 4 291

By arace15336 - 22/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 5 128

By Anonymous - 17/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 763

You deserved it 4 133

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 100

You deserved it 3 118

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 08:30 - Australia

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 44 227

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, after years of pain and swelling in my foot from what I thought was chronic ankle sprains, I found out I have a broken bone in my foot. I have no clue how long it's been broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 887

Today, my boyfriend was trying to describe his feelings. I asked him if he felt any emotions other than "anger." He went to get a beer and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 395

Today, my son is failing his college classes because he thinks he’s going to inherit the family business. It's a garden centre owned by my older sister; I'm just an employee, it will be inherited by my niece. My son actually thought only eldest sons inherited family property. God I raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 381

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 755

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 141

Today, I did laundry and found one lone sock in the washer. Thinking I was done, I left it there and put the rest in the dryer. When I pulled out the clothes, the sock was missing. It was in the dryer all along, but I couldn’t find its partner anywhere. A sock black hole struck again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 108