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Misconstrued

By heyadrian - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gardena

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 16 776

heyadrian tells us more.

heyadrian 2

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:20

OP here. we didn't know my uncle that well he was one of the family members that dropped off the face of the earth. I came in at the wrong time when people were laughing so I thought he was doing an impression this is both a FML and a YDI

By DaisyMay - 04/04/2011 19:47 - United States

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 387

You deserved it 5 205

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 707

You deserved it 8 739

Thanks!

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 818

You deserved it 3 091

By Mrs. Terrified - 23/10/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 239

You deserved it 4 514

By Anonymous - 09/08/2011 12:55 - United States

Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 305

You deserved it 12 457

By blondie107 - 07/05/2013 00:52 - United States - Richardson

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 562

You deserved it 44 230

blondie107 tells us more.

blondie107 20

Monday 1 July 2013 22:40

Today was my first success! ... Sort of. Anyone else have parents like this? I finally managed to lie undetected but.. Well.. Like I said, sort of a success.

Glassed

By Rick - 01/07/2011 08:31 - United States

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 670

You deserved it 2 508

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 091

You deserved it 4 027

By PeeLeg - 11/03/2013 07:43

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 548

You deserved it 51 173

By Anonymous - 20/02/2014 10:01 - United Kingdom - Great Malvern

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 881

You deserved it 5 022

By laydeegaga - 07/03/2010 08:13

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 424

You deserved it 28 984

By Whatswrongwithme? - 03/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 810

You deserved it 5 730

GHOSTS!

By fml_anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 455

You deserved it 4 428

By unknown - 31/01/2010 06:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 589

You deserved it 46 289

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 973

You deserved it 3 283

By Japaroni - 15/09/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 9 373

Bad vibes

By Epiphany - 19/07/2012 09:01 - United States

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 3 041

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 5 312

By montextes - 25/07/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 297

You deserved it 3 959

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 810

You deserved it 41 342

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 185

You deserved it 2 430

By MsMedea - 11/08/2015 12:02 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 018

You deserved it 4 528

MsMedea tells us more.

MsMedea 26

Tuesday 11 August 2015 20:22

Hi, OP here, to answer your question, the slow cooker was sitting on the bench, underneath a shelf in our kitchen. As I took the lid off, the roach came from above, literally jumping into the pot! So I definitely did not see it before I took the lid off!

By gvmfvr - 08/05/2014 20:48 - France - Fontenay-sous-bois

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 48