The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited
The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

bron92 tells us more.

bron92 0

Thanks everyone, haters and all. Let me clear some things up for yall. 1) i did pass, but when i was out of the pool i was GASSED 2) the woman was in pretty damn good shape. I didnt mean to be sexist or ageist. 3) my football team was 11-2. The Ennis Lions, if you wanna check im #64. We were 1 game short of state (loss to rockwall heath) 4) Im not the typical "athlete". I had a pink mohawk in the summer, I listen to no rap and all alternative, I HAVE PINK AND BLACK VANS FOR GODS SAKE. 5) This will surprise you. I'm 6'2 and 230lbs (6% body fat). An offensive lineman, thats why i had some problems. I didn't mean to come off as a jerk, or a "dumb jock",and I actually did somewhat prepare for this test. I had a friend who is a lifeguard teach me and have me swim but I guess it wasn't enough. And, yes, I RESPECT ALL YOU SWIMMERS NOW! haha I learned the hard way

strokesie tells us more.

strokesie 23

Hey, OP here. After I said that, the interviewer busted out laughing- so there's a plus. She also said something along the lines of "Ya know, nobody says that sort of thing. Usually it's the boring 'I really need a job' type. But not you!" And laughed some more. I really need this job though, I've applied everywhere and this place is the first to call me. I won't know if I got it or not until next week, so I'm crossing my fingers!

nightjay tells us more.

nightjay 21

Hi, OP here! It was just a casual morning today, and since my mom usually waits for me to get up (because I'm usually pretty lazy out of bed), they wouldn't leave my bedside. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my extremely Catholic mom, I said no when she kept on telling me to get up. Finally, laying on my side (facing away from my mom) she boils over and pulls the covers off, and in my attempt to save my covers from falling on the floor, she sees my boner and immediately assumes I was masturbating. I don't know which was worse: getting grounded, getting the "masturbation is evil" talk, or having my mom see my dick. Triple FML. Thanks for the support! All the penis-puns make me smile :)