The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

What? How? When?

By Anonymous - 06/03/2022 10:00

Today, I got broken up with by someone I wasn't even dating. They had gone radio silent for two weeks and just popped in to say it was "better to be honest" instead of radio silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 92

Corporate task management

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 10:00 - India - Puducherry

Today, I got a complaint that I'm not performing as usual at my work. That's when I realised it was because I now prioritise my sleep and life over staying awake late at night to learn from the offshore team. I used to work during the ungodly hours of 2am to 7am daily and was then a zombie for the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 140

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 160

Get cracking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I arrived early in the morning at my job counting inventory, only to find that the scanner machines were still getting set up due to difficulties with WiFi. We ended up starting two hours late due to various technical issues, and I almost missed my sister's recital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 49

Every day is Caturday

By I told you - 03/06/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my parents got a cat tree for my cats. I tried to tell them it was way too small, but they ignored my protests. Lo and behold, it's way too small. My cats have already fallen down trying to get on it at least three times each. even though one of them is abnormally small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 166

BFF

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 20:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, after my therapist told me I should open up to my friends more, I sent a message to a pen-pal and told her that I had asked for and found help with my postpartum troubles. She replied that I'm a bad friend for "always burdening her with my problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 103

Good deeds

By Muddyidiot - 06/01/2021 05:01

Today, after I was done testing a group of people for Covid, the universe decided that no, the deed was not good enough. On the way to the bus stop, I slipped and had to ride home covered in mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 144

Get outta my way

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had a DMV appointment I couldn’t miss. With my one year-old in the car, the anti theft system started going off and I couldn't get it to stop, so we just drove to the DMV with the car alarm going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 173

Eavesdropping is never a good idea

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a meeting with my daughter's headmistress, which I thought went well, until I was walking to my car past the open staff room window and I heard her say to other teachers, “Jesus, I can see where that brat [my daughter's name] gets her shitty attitude from… and her fat arse.” They all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 360

No fun

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 20:01

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 220

Freestyle

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 12:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I'd practiced for a slam poetry night all day. When I got up on stage, I forgot all of it and, for some reason, and my brain refused to improvise around my planned themes, so I launched into a totally unrelated rant about how confusing microwaves are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 223

Doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 03:00

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 77

Narcissistic

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 12:00 - Canada - Dundas

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 103

What did you ACTUALLY do?

By Anonymous - 23/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I got dumped, so I was sad. I was so unpopular in my friend group that everyone but two people "sided with my ex" in their words; the other two "didn't side." I'd told my ex that I hated her, so I asked my friend to tell her I'm sorry, my ex-friend then replied with death threats. Like WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 395

We the people are tired

By Voter - 18/11/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, I live abroad, but I was born in the USA so I'm sick of people asking me who I voted for in the last election, all while looking at me weirdly and suspiciously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 141

Home renovation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning my lazy son’s bedroom when I knocked a full cup out the window, complete with a layer of mould. It landed on the dog, covering him in mouldy, milky coffee. He ran inside, shook it off everywhere, then rolled around to really make sure it was smushed deep into the carpet fibres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 309

Victim complex

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Corona

Today, my ex got a new girlfriend. I genuinely don’t care who he dates, I just know that now I’m in for 3 to 6 months of performative angry phone calls, court summons, and social media slander, all while he plays up sympathy from the new chick. He doesn’t care about our kids and pulls this same stunt repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 100

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 134

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 01/05/2022 10:00

Today, I got a verbal warning at work for "having a resting bitch face." I had a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 105

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 568

Tin bathtub

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 00:02

Today, I finally bought an above ground pool, as wifey has insisted on one for a loooong time. It didn't cost too much, but wifey is all sulky cause it appears that a 1.8 x 3.8 x 0.9 meter pool is TOO BIG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 170

Hate sex

By xenutja - 29/01/2021 20:02 - United States - Amery

Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 180

Introverted clumsiness

By I'm a fucking idiot!!! And I suck at using discord. Going back to tumblr. - 09/12/2024 09:00 - Canada - Concord

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 181

Mad skills

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 140

Master the blade

By Douglas - 18/07/2026 20:00 - Australia - Melboune

Today, I tried to be helpful at a family dinner and offered to carve the roast. The knife slipped, the serving tray tipped. My uncle caught it with his bare hand like a movie hero. Everyone praised him for dinner-saving reflexes while I quietly sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 310

Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 22:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, It’s almost been a year since my husband dumped me which was on… Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 100

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my bank, being overly paranoid about fraud, declined my Christmas purchase on Amazon because I usually don't spend that much all at once. Instead of Amazon simply asking to try the card again, they instead switched to a different card in the wallet. Which would be fine, except it's a shared family account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 142

Free speech

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 147

Naked

By Flora - 30/07/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I began my first solo holiday at my family's' lakeside cabin. After an hour of tanning in my fave bikini on the lake beach, I saw that I was alone, got brave enough to take a risk, and took off my bikini so my body could get a full tan. Guess when a family from a nearby cabin chose to also come to the lake for fun… FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 465

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 186

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The Top

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 4 819

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 977

You deserved it 5 761

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 688

You deserved it 6 244

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 592

You deserved it 4 500

Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 137

Today, as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my roommate shout, “Your food delivery’s here!” I panicked, wrapped myself in a towel and ran to grab it before the driver left. The towel slipped halfway down the hall. I froze mid-motion when I realized that the delivery driver was still standing at the door, making direct eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 342