The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Friends?

By idekwtfigo - 01/05/2022 06:00

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 105

Stable genius

By Evelyn - 05/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Dunsford

Today, I was trying to get a tan on my grandma's back yard with my shirt off, and I was sure that she was sleeping. Ten minutes in, she wanted to know what I was doing while she got on her phone, and I got embarrassed because I thought she was sleeping, but she was standing RIGHT THERE. I HATE EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 410

Safe travels

By Sleepy head - 07/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I'd booked a window seat for my first flight because I wanted to enjoy the view. A few minutes after takeoff, I fell asleep. I woke up just as we were about to land, with a dead phone, a stiff neck, and absolutely no idea what the clouds looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 274

Broke

By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, a lady I know gave my 3 year-old daughter a little coin purse, saying, "Your mum can put some money in that for you." My daughter responded, "But mummy has no money." I would have laughed, had it not been spot on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 139

Settler setters

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my dogs have coordinated a T-formation as I lay down to sleep. Essentially cutting me off 80% of the bed. Too tired to fight, too annoyed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 321

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I had bad diarrhea. I went to the toilet seven times while my cousins came to spend time with me. I spent more time in the toilet than I did with them. Once they'd left, I went to the toilet for what would be the eighth time in a couple of hours. I now can no longer feel my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 122

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I drew the short straw to play Santa at the office Christmas party. As I bent down to give my coworker a gift, my "Ho, ho, ho!" turned into "Ow, ow, ow!" because I threw out my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 131

The truth

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my aging father mentioned something off-hand about me maybe changing my mind about someday having kids. The truth is my husband and I would love to, but I’m not able. I don’t have the heart to tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 90

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I finally finished my Christmas shopping and felt like an absolute champion. That was until I got home and realized I'd left one of the shopping bags in the parking lot. The bag contained the most expensive gift I'd bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 211

Drive away

By Suzanne - 02/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I took my car in because of a strange rattling noise. The mechanic charged me nothing, just handed me back my reusable water bottle that had been rolling around under the passenger seat for three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 422

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 100

Let me out!

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a bus broke down in front of my house and the rescue vehicle simply couldn’t manoeuvre into position to safely tow it away. For the bus to move, they’re going to need to repair it where it is. I can’t get my car out of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 67

Recovery

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am recovering from surgery, so even though my mom could burn cold water, I was forced to let her cook for me. Thanks to her cooking, I’ve now shit my body weight in brown water, and I need her help to get on the toilet. She doesn’t always get me there in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 61

Toxic AF

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my coworker/landlady drunkenly told me in front of her kids that she’s my mom. I’ve never felt like she treated me as her daughter - more like an assistant while she’s the boss. I can’t tell if she said it to make her kids jealous or for another reason, but now I’m just mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 73

Unsend! Unsend!

By Niceknowingya - 27/08/2026 15:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I (admittedly dumbly) AI generated pictures of my boss as a joke with my coworkers. They asked me to send them to them but instead I ended up sending it to my boss. A bunch of them were him extremely obese or with his ass out. I can't unsend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 373

Nature isn't healing

By my butt is lava - 19/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Custer

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 208

Shame about the view

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I was admiring my nice clean windows. Our window cleaners have to abseil down my apartment building to get it done, so they don't come often, as it's a big job. I was enjoying the sparkling view, until a seagull shat right across my window. Guess I'm looking at that for months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 110

Thanks for the support

By Time2Diet - 31/05/2022 12:00

Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 159

Nutshot

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 31/08/2023 22:00 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, it seems that I won't be having sex for a while. I was Live Action Role Playing and got hit in the dick with a foam sword. The hit moved my armour enough for a padded arrow to get a direct hit on my right nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 209

Classic power move

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my sibling. I slammed the front door behind me, only to realize my hoodie string was stuck in it. I had to awkwardly knock and ask to be let back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 457

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 308

Sneaky wank

By Anonymous - 06/09/2023 08:00 - France - Paris

Today, my dad came to my room to tell me he’s going to take a nap and didn't want to be disturbed. About 5 minutes later, my speaker started broadcasting the moaning voice of a woman clearly having sex. He's never borrowing my Bluetooth speaker ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 106

Why can't I be you?

By Failing forever - 19/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend knocked over a shelf in a store, making a huge racket and mess. He apologized profusely and helped the store clerk put the shelf back up like a normal person. I can't even bump into someone and apologize without freezing up and replaying it in my head for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 180

Living the meme

By OliviaOlive - 24/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 91

Scramble time

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Sullivan

Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 98

Middle ground

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 122

Dinner date

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 224

GERD Gang!

By Lucyferia Michelle - 09/04/2021 11:00

Today, I learned that I have multiple gallstones, even though the lab report said I only had one. However, the pain is both in my left side and right side, as well as around my navel. I also have Chronic GERD and IBS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 86

Losing my mind

By Oh Gnooooo - 17/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 601

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 129

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The Top

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 4 369

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 091

You deserved it 3 401

Today, my parents came back from their holiday and were constantly asking about "the girl I had over". They thought so because of the two wine glasses in the dishwasher. I didn't have anyone over. I just got drunk two nights in a row and was too lazy to clean the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 594

You deserved it 845

Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 2 822

Today, in an effort to curb my drinking, I’ve tried eating an apple whenever I got the urge, which worked wonderfully for a couple of days, until the sudden influx of fiber in my diet caused me to violently shit myself miles from home. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 269

Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 435