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Out of service

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 20:00

Today, after I injured my left wrist from holding my nephew the wrong way for too many hours on New Year's, and found out that it would optimistically take 4-6 weeks to heal, this morning I managed to give myself second degree burns on my right hand from handling a tray I didn't know was hot. So that's three weeks with no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 149

By Grandzilla - 09/09/2016 04:10 - France - Ablancourt

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to go on the internet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 789

You deserved it 1 163

Filtered

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 22:59 - Canada - Port Moody

Today, I discovered that my dishwasher has a filter. I cleaned out food from it that has never been in my kitchen since I moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 354

I'm out

By tired af - 25/01/2026 20:00

Today, I’m a nurse on night shift and I went to a daytime family brunch without adjusting my sleep schedule. Halfway through a serious conversation about finances, I nodded off and started dreaming I was charting vitals. I woke up mid-sentence saying, “Blood pressure stable,” to my aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 71

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 19:58 - Philippines - Roxas

Today, after studying for an exam, I decided to take a short nap. Just then, our neighbors, who were a couple, argued like crazy about some dumb thing the guy did. I didn't get to rest at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 150

Not helping

By Anonymous - 22/02/2023 04:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I came home from work early due to a massive headache. A half hour later, the jackhammering started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 82

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 445

You deserved it 5 097

Better safe than sorry

By Topher - 31/01/2026 12:00

Today, my boss said I had to complete "Cyber Security Awareness Training" or face repercussions. For 33 years, I've never needed a computer for my job or needed one to perform my job. In fact, the job forbids having a laptop or phone with you while doing the job. Did I happen to mention that I'm a lifeguard? FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 83

The shame

By Dave - 12/07/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury

Today, I found a photo of me as a sad-looking teenage schoolboy. No wonder. Under that uniform, I was wearing women's shapewear. I was a chubby kid and, against my will, I was forced into wearing a firm control panty girdle - ashamed, uncomfortable and terrified of being caught, it really messed me up for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 109

Truth serum

By Jodi - 06/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband was cold and distant towards me for the third day in a row, and I finally demanded an answer. He showed me a video of me drunkenly confessing to him that I don't find him sexually exciting, and that my abusive ex was way better in the bedroom. Fuck, I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 714

Break a leg

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 05:01

Today, like every other day of my life, I have hypermobility. I had an important dress and tech rehearsal for a production due to start tomorrow. Guess what day my ankle decided to give out midway down a flight of stairs, leaving my foot rapidly swelling… FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 105

By Chey1309 - 29/06/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 069

You deserved it 6 261

Daydreamer

By petev8 - 06/03/2023 03:00

Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 11:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 741

You deserved it 35 891

Garfield strikes again

By Cat owner - 29/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I think I figured out why my computer refused to start up properly the other day. My cat is a cord chewer. Now I have to close the door when I'm not in there, until I drum it into his head to not do that. And before you ask: yes, he's orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 148

Just the tit

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 12:00

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 362

Scams galore

By alynn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 369

You deserved it 8 100

The other shoe will drop

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 03:00

Today, I survived the last round of layoffs. What didn't survive is my team, my manager, and my tasks. Now I'm "reporting" to a VP who used to be three levels above me and has never heard of me. I'm waiting for HR to wake up and realize that this change literally means I get six figures for doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 107

Bodyshaming ain't it chief

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 13:59

Today, my grandpa pointed out my slightly larger than usual belly and made fun of it, by comparing it to a kidney bag. I’ve been underweight since I was 13, and when I finally gain weight someone has to make fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 129

Short Queen

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, it's my 36th birthday. My boyfriend and I celebrated with a big group of our friends, our families, and their kids. Everyone there was taller than me, including my friend's 10 year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 120

Acceptance

By Leesa - 15/03/2026 15:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday, a time meant to be a big day, so it felt right to tell my family I'm a lesbian. My dad and two brothers were fine with it; my bros hugged me to show support, and dad said he'd hang with me if I needed a pal to discuss girls with. My mom, well… who knew being gay made me "a bitch who betrayed her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 134

BPD

By The 3 C's of BPD - 19/03/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend is blaming me for his recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Apparently, I should have just kept on tolerating all of his explosive outbursts, instead of "forcing" him to start couples' therapy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 77

No escape

By Anonymous - 22/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was all set and ready to leave my cheating, narcissistic husband. I couldn't because my kids wouldn't come with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 130

Man's Not Hot

By FML Videos - 22/11/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

This is why man won't take off the jacket!

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 289

Wild Week

By FML Videos - 25/11/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Oof.

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 96

Chess boxing

By W…… - 07/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 113

Baby Jane

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 12:00

Today, the boss accidentally merged her personal calendar with the office calendar, so along with a 10 a.m. waxing appointment and on the 19th it's "Mom's birthday", I got to see "Friday 3rd April fire Jane." I’m Jane. (Not my real name obviously, but you know what I mean). FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 74

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 02:01

Today, my supervisor told me to stock the bedding department, so I did all the pallets set out, with an hour to spare to clean up, only for my supervisor to bring out three more once she saw I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 122

Trash

By Attack of the drunk caveman - 15/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm a hotel housekeeper. I was warned by the manager that one of the rooms was "horrible." When I got to said room, I understood: what he meant; it looked as though it was raided by a drunken caveman. It took my friend and I almost an hour to clean it up completely. At least the "caveman" left a $2.00 tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 122

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 88

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 468

It'll get better. Eventually.

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 109

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 769

You deserved it 701

Today, even though I’m having contractions, I’m still trying to clean up the house. My husband just got pissy with me because I was rolling the vacuum behind me instead of picking it up and carrying it to the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 255

Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 391

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 113