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Relatable

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 203

Is it a fetish or just gross?

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 10:00

Today, after finally moving in with my boyfriend of 3 years, he introduced me to his fetish. Wearing his underwear for 5 days straight, then wearing them as a hat on the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 154

Life comes at you fast

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 30/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, my grandma died. I was very very close to her, but now my kids are grieving the loss of their great grandma. Between my 7 year-old getting extremely mad, my 5 year-old being super whiny/needy, I'm getting no sleep as my 3 year-old is almost constantly having nightmares. I've yet to get my time to grieve and I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 133

Double standard

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 121

Down and out

By Anonymous - 08/05/2024 15:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 163

Where? Why? What?

By Get a grip, mom - 02/01/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I've been sitting here for what seems like an eternity listening to my mom ruthlessly grill my sister about a piercing she got. Why don't I just leave, you ask? We're in the ER. My grandma is in the ICU, critically ill. But my sister's piercing is apparently a bigger concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 143

Slice of Freudian slip

By Myrin - 29/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 359

High times

By Anonymous - 15/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 638

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 10:00

Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 1 620

My skincare routine

By Fuck anxiety - 19/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed a random dark spot on my skin around my groin area. Fearing that it was possibly melanoma, even though I don't really go outside a lot, I made a mad dash to the doctor. Apparently it's just a fucked-up stretch mark, and is perfectly normal. Nice thing to have a panic attack over. Good job, brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 142

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 117

Be happy for me

By IHaveThePower - 02/10/2021 02:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I got offered an interview for a great job. My father then spent the entire dinner telling me how pointless it was, and how I should apply to the factory next door because I would spend all the extra money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 107

Funny story…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 935

Vindictive self report

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a few months since I spent about three weeks in a relationship with a woman at work, who then left me to get back with her ex-husband. For some reason she reported us both to HR for our inappropriate relationship. My future at this company now rests on a meeting I have this afternoon with HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 334

Caught spunk-handed

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 23:01

Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 2 279

Too late

By ObiOneStillLonely - 24/10/2021 11:00

Today, I met my dream man. Intelligent, excellent conversationalist, similar spiritual beliefs, attractive and compassionate. He proposed to my best friend last week. She asked me to be maid of honour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 321

Late for his own funeral

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 172

Disrespect

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 03:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three and a half years is talking to two other women. I’m four months postpartum. Not to mention, he took our child to go see one of his girl best friend's house, when I specifically asked him not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 149

Rising Damp

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 115

The strangeness of strangers

By TMI - 13/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, a man with one eye and a severely disfigured face accosted me at the grocery store. What started as a question about my shirt became an explanation for why he looks the way he does: He took a shotgun blast to the face. I didn't ask about or even draw attention to his appearance. Sweet dreams for me tonight! FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 121

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 154

Haunting

By Anonymous - 15/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 193

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 424

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

By Morrissey2.0 - 17/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was singing my heart out in the shower, convinced I was alone. Turns out my roommate had friends over, and they could hear everything through the bathroom vent. Now, they keep requesting encore performances of my renditions of songs by The Smiths. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 178

Mommy's boy

By Fed up - 07/01/2026 09:00

Today, for the hundredth fucking time, my stepson asked for a snack twenty minutes before dinner. When I told him no, he cried to his mom, who yelled at me and gave him a granola bar. Then, when dinner came, he "wasn't hungry", picked at his food, and fussed and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 105

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 00:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 253

Soiled

By Anonymous - 11/02/2023 22:00

Today, I learned what the phrase "Never trust a far", is all about. I spent several minutes trying to wash my filthy underwear in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 360

Poor kitty

By Sorry kitty - 30/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out while pet-sitting that a white cat is no easier to see in the dark than a black cat. I also found out that this particular cat doesn't take kindly to being accidentally kicked, even if it wasn't that hard. My feet have seen better days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 315

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2020 05:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 332

Me me me

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 20:00

Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 85

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday and I celebrated with friends. I now have 34 individual copies of the first Twilight movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 857

You deserved it 1 889

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 722

You deserved it 62 380

Today, I found out that my best friend's dad used my internet connection to make threats online. I'm going to have to go to court for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 336

You deserved it 275

Today, I put a lock on my account because of several unknown purchases for large amounts. Turns out it was my girlfriend, without asking. Who is now mad at me for blocking her parcels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 214

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 120

Today, I got fired because I was “constantly sick”. Constantly in this case meaning: the one time the entire office had Covid, including myself, plus 4 single days in a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 166