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Portion control

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, my wife refuses to acknowledge our kids’ weight problem. When I try, she claims bodyshaming. The last time we went to the park, one wouldn’t get off the bench, the other was too big for the slide, and our daughter got stuck in the swing. They were all so winded they couldn’t talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 114

A bit weird, mom

By let it go already! - 07/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my mom was serious when she said she’d never get over me dumping my ex. While babysitting my 6 month-old daughter, she took her to meet said ex for lunch while I was at work. Problem? He’s not my daughter’s father and I broke up with him when I was 16. My husband is pissed as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 127

All shook up

By Anonymous - 23/04/2023 15:00 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 282

BREAKING NEWS

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 06:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I got to find out via a news article that Tucker Carlson apparently wants to do the Green M&M cartoon from the commercials. I didn't need to know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 347

I'm a grown-ass man!

By geodemaster - 30/01/2022 23:00

Today, I texted my dad, “My body hates me.” His response was, “No. You are pushing responsibility off yourself and refusing to do anything about it by saying that.” I was actively making a doctor’s appointment at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 425

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 1 117

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 126

Love is a battlefield

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Tilton

Today, after I finally got up the courage to open myself up to someone new after going through a brutal divorce, it was going great until he went back to his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 392

Grow up

By I fucking hate baby talk - 08/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 79

Can't get enough of 'em

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 309

Terms and conditions may apply

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 368

What did I do to you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was kicked out of my ex-girlfriend's apartment, with whom I’ve been staying with, because I’m a 'bad influence to her two sons' since I’m an 'alcoholic who passed out and pissed the couch.” I’ve been sober since the beginning of January, and have been in AA since. I'm also prone to seizures. She does Meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 282

Silver linings and all that

By JadedAsHell - 23/05/2023 06:00

Today, my fiancé of 5 years left me for classmate of his. He says he feels more chemistry and a deeper connection with her, and if he moved forward with the wedding (most of which is non-refundable), he’d be marrying the wrong person, and it “wouldn’t be fair” to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 153

Opportunity knocks

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 22:00

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 153

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 186

Zapped

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 11:01 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 151

LonelyFans

By whyyy - 01/06/2026 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, it's been two years since I dropped out of college to do OnlyFans and get rich. I've made less than a thousand on OnlyFans and have to support myself with two jobs, and no man will have me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 752

Message in a bottle

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 03:00

Today, I realized I was in love with the girl in the red Converses. She moved away about 4 months ago and it's way too late, but I haven't been able to get her out of my head, and it's killing me knowing that I lost my chance with her. I wish I was the one to really know her, not her toxic friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 830

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 93

The chase

By Paula - 05/11/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 967

Rubbing it in

By Ugly fat and old - 12/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 614

Deep cut

By It's a horrible song lmao - 08/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I lost my phone while at the store with my mom. She decided to call it, and that's when I remembered that my ringtone for her is the song "Mother" by The Police. The weirded-out stares I got as I picked up my phone have become a core memory that I absolutely did not want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 383

Metal Zone

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 215

By forgetable - 28/04/2019 02:00

Today, I offered to stay late at my delivery job because it was snowing and several people called out. An hour later I got rear ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 442

Deception

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 180

By Corn-ed-Teeth - 30/04/2019 18:00

Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 793

By TragicallyAnxious - 09/05/2019 10:00

Today, I had a draft paper due that I hadn’t written yet. I decided to skip the class to avoid embarrassment. Later, I went to change my major and was told to go to room 223 to talk to the English department head. I knocked on the door and the professor whose class I'd skipped answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 2 525

Helicopter Karen

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 22:00

Today, the mother of my most boneheaded student got upset when her “precious baby” miserably failed my class. She then threatened to accuse me of failing him due to racism, because I’m black, somehow overlooking the giant camera on the ceiling I installed for my own safety. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 114

The Fall

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 18:00

Today, as a restaurant hostess, I fell into the fountain at work while carrying a high chair in front of several large parties, who all promptly laughed at me. We were so busy, I had to stay and finish my shift soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 219

Innocence

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 11:01

Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 144

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The Top

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 1 031

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 057

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 959

You deserved it 17 952

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 413

You deserved it 35 766

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 40 285

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 2 881