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By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 91 852

Thanks Felicia

By Aric - 08/10/2020 05:01

Today, I arrived at the airport two and a half hours early because I was expecting it to be busy. The line was long but I had plenty of time, until a woman complained about a fee for checked bags. I was next in line, and still managed to miss my flight because the woman caused such a big scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 119

Parental guilt

By low_expectations - 18/10/2020 08:08 - United States - New York

Today, my mother tried guilt-tripping me about coming home for the holidays by explaining that, “according to average life expectancy,” she and my father could be dead in the next 10-25 years. I’m already coming home for the holidays. She knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 101

How can I stay mad at you?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 997

WTF dad?

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 01:59

Today, my husband ranted about how children are awful, and parents who claim they love their kids are complete liars, and if everyone admitted that we hated our kids and resented them for existing, there’d be a lot more happy childless couples. We don’t even have kids for him to hate this much. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 248

Cake, eating it…

By Go_There - 26/10/2020 08:01 - United States - Madison

Today, I'm in an open marriage and had to admit to myself that I caught feels for my "friend with benefits" who was only interested in the "benefits" part and I had to break it off. I already miss the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 1 607

Every dog has its day

By bad bad bad bad idea - 28/01/2022 14:01 - United States

Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 198

Kinda based

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 09:00

Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 68

Only a few more years to go…

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 16:00

Today, the lullaby I sing to my toddler makes my husband fall asleep faster than her, so basically I have to choose between not having sex or having to put up with a cranky overtired hyperactive toddler. Our house has a single bedroom where we all co-sleep, so I guess it's option one for now for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 398

Silver lining?

By girlwhywouldImarryyou - 07/09/2024 20:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I received a text message from an unknown man. Apparently, after I proposed last week, she broke things off with him. I thought this affair message was a joke until he proved it by sending me photos of them together. She had told him that she was going to leave me for him, unless "I made up my mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 123

Unwelcome home

By Bee Quarantine - 10/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, there is a wasp nest right next to my front door. To exit the house safely, I have to use the back door and carefully sneak over to the car. Alternatively, I can just walk everywhere. Or I can become a shut-in, but I don't think I'd last long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 176

SO FRUSTRATIIIIIING

By Bored to death - 17/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out one of the main causes of my depression is that my life is too sheltered and boring. My doctor and many of my friends have advised me to find a hobby. Except, everything I would like to do is either too expensive and/or impossible due to my disabilities and other mental disorders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 295

Brand recognition

By Okay doctor - 26/02/2022 10:00

Today, after a 20-minute conversation, I'm still unable to convince my grandmother that Tylenol and Acetaminophen are the same thing. I just graduated med school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 89

Turtle

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, even though I diet and go to the gym, due to my hypothyroidism I'm now so overweight that when I went to hospital for an unrelated check up, the gorgeous nurse actually had to press and move around my fat-filled groin to make my penis pop out of its hiding place under the skin. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 302

Freeride

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 12:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, my crush and I went longboarding, because she’s into it and I told her I was too. I’d never set foot on a longboard, but I figured I’d wing it and pray for the best. Long story short, I ended up with a broken arm and a concussion. Bad decisions, man. They suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 286

No more pranks please

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Norco

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend for a video. I told her to pose for a photo where I got down on one knee and pretended to propose. She was so upset, she kicked me right in the face and dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 130

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my kid was lying on the floor in Morrisons screaming, no matter what I tried to do, until another mother came, picked him up, and dumped him in the trolley seat. She then looked me up and down and said, “Girl, he’s 4 years-old and 3 feet tall, grow some fucking backbone.” She was so right too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 1 760

2003 TV flashback

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 18:00

Today, my son brought home a girlfriend who actually talks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain. I simply couldn’t take her seriously, or even understand what she was talking about. This has to be a prank. In fact, it better be because it’s not funny. My son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 313

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 16:58 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 149

Grossed out

By vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 157

RIP in peace

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 09/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 196

Out of pocket

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 00:00 - India - Kannur

Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 134

Extreme bathtimes

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I am a silly man who thought I could still get in and out of the bath at 76 years-old, even though I have only had showers for the past 15 years. So, when I got stuck in the bath, I had to call my poor wife to come and help my naked ass stand up, and yes, she asked me to write this for laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 143

SCREAM!

By nah - 11/03/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 272

Grateful

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 08:08 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, "Wow, is this really the best you can do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 181

Lost in translation

By ThatLove - 28/05/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend lamented that I do not profess my love for him as often and poetically as he does his for me. I try my best, but he's Italian and I am German, and this is not a level playing field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 169

Institutional

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, although we are Asians, my father told me not to date other Asians, particularly anyone Chinese or Vietnamese, because I will have nothing but trouble. He's also not fond of me dating Black or Latino people. No surprise, he wants me to bond with my old, stupid, white supremacist high school classmate again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 181

Freaked out

By m…… - 10/04/2022 00:00

Today, after I'd got into a steady routine for months, the new manager waltzed into the store out of the blue and began changing every single rule. I had a panic attack and cried, for which she promptly fired me for “acting like a baby.” I’m autistic and I don’t do well with sudden changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 249

Golden child

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 112

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The Top

Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 414

You deserved it 6 854

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 228

You deserved it 40 133

Today, I was at my friend's house for the first time in months. I saw her new Chihuahua, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit… straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 213

You deserved it 34 158

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 318

You deserved it 12 758

Today, my boyfriend and I dyed our hair. His hair came out good. My hair, on the other hand, came out splotchy, and instead of dark blue, it came out green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 618

Today, a few days within moving back in with my mother, I received sympathy flowers for my deceased son. They were from my ex-neighbor, the bitch who was supposed to be watching him but instead decided to have sex with my soon to be ex-husband in the house while my son drowned in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 150