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Not now, 2020

By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 23:02 - United States

Today, I found out I have endometriosis… Which doesn't mix well with a horny boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 132

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 14:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 109

By Fangirl#1 - 29/10/2018 22:10

Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 533

You deserved it 333

Please like me

By Stupid-Brain - 06/10/2020 09:59

Today, like every other time for as long as I can remember, even the slightest suggestion that someone doesn't want to be around me sends me into a major panic attack. I've been in therapy for three years to try and handle my anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 239

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 20:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 119

Headphones are better with wires

By Anonymous - 27/12/2021 13:59 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while waiting at a bus stop, I took one Airpod out of my ear to put it in its case. However, it slipped out of my hand, and at that exact time, the bus pulled over and instantly crushed it. A replacement bud costs $95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 741

For no one

By NotEvenInTheRunning - 24/03/2023 02:00 - Ireland

Today, in front of all my family, my grandmother said it was so funny how my brother was my mother’s favorite, while my sister was my father’s favorite. When I asked whose favorite I was, there was silence. From everyone. Including my parents. Guess I know where I’m not wanted now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 137

Notice me

By bb. - 29/12/2021 16:59

Today, I spent my entire shift fantasizing about being in a car wreck and getting hospitalized, just so my mother would show me any love whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 221

Antivaxxers ruining things again

By Bp. - 02/01/2022 01:59 - United States - Indianola

Today, I'd finally gotten a great job working with kids who I totally loved and attached to super quickly, but the school district has told me they don't have space for me anymore because they caved to local pressure and hired back the anti-vaxxer, and now are overstaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 785

You deserved it 308

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 20:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 326

A bit of an overreaction

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 12:00

Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 597

By headache - 04/05/2019 14:00

Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 169

Bag of frozen peas time

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 23:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I got sent home from work after a customer's daughter kicked me in the balls because her order was wrong. She was 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 122

Line must go up

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 15:00

Today, I'm due to be packing my hospital bag to give birth tomorrow before Easter weekend. Instead I'm answering client emails, and ignoring sarcastic colleague emails asking "Have you gone into labor yet?" as I haven't been fully responsive on text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 91

What do I get?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 06:01 - United States - Kula

Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 354

Freaked out

By Why - 09/04/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, there is a huge lump on my neck. I thought it was a boil, but it didn't seem to hurt at all, nor was it bothersome. It wasn't until my mom pointed out its existence and size one too many times that I started to feel uncomfortable, and now suddenly I can't sleep at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 195

Link please!

By barbecued goat anyone? - 05/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 319

Happy birthday

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 328

By PineappleOfMyEye - 13/12/2018 12:30

Today, I went to check my grade, which was posted for an essay for my comp 1 class. I got a zero. I was devastated only to find out I never actually clicked the submit document button. My grade dropped 20 points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 2 534

Mansplaning #2764

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 23:02 - United States

Today, I got mansplained for trying to help a guy secure a machine to a trailer. Not only did he bring the wrong trailer, he tried to ratchet it onto the axle. I load and unload trailers at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 146

They're still books, technically

By breakmyfall - 15/11/2020 02:02

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 134

Anhedonia

By dead inside - 16/09/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my depression has reached the point where I don't even have the energy to seriously pursue any hobbies. Any time I find the motivation to try something new, I immediately get discouraged at the slightest difficulties, and become even more depressed. I don't even know why I'm trying anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 135

Imprinting

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 09:59

Today, the best friend I grew up with since primary school, who helped me be a single mom to my son, helping with bottle feeds, nappy changing and so on, has been shagging him since he turned 20. They’re getting married next year, despite the 24-year age gap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 137

Grifters gonna grift

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Troy

Today, my sister is famous after lying on TikTok about being abused as a child. Everyone believes her and she's selling books and scamming people out of money. She also keeps posting videos saying the family is tormenting her. None of us have spoken to her in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 90

Badass

By Bloodline's Dead-End - 25/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my grandmother and I got mugged. As I stood there paralyzed with fear, she grabbed the mugger from behind as he escaped, and gave him a suplex, knocking him out. Then, as if nothing happened, she dusted herself, picked up our things, held my hand, and said, "Come on baby, let's get you a clean pair of shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 505

Bitchy family

By is that jealousy I detect ? - 24/02/2022 17:59

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 131

Fun times

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 15:59

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 1 849

When nature calls

By Andrew Williams - 11/12/2020 14:01

Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 375

Dominance

By it’s mine too - 01/03/2022 06:00

Today, and every other birthday I've had, I shared with my cousin whose birthday is 4 days apart from mine. It would be totally fine if I had an opinion on the theme, invitees, and location. Only my cousin gets that privilege apparently. Oh and my presents, if she likes them enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 123

Fantasy

By But I wanna - 15/05/2023 15:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, despite being married and renting my own apartment, I can't fulfil my teenage dream of slamming my wife on the sofa and pounding her like cheap mince, all because it would apparently "defile the sofa for the children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 438

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The Top

Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 373

You deserved it 58 022

Dance like nobody's watching!

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 109

Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 554

Today, my husband and I purchased a new-used truck, after being assured for weeks by the company owner we work for that the company will remain open. Later, we received an email saying that the office is closing permanently. Our jobs are "secure", but he needs help selling and moving the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 160

Today, I was driving 65 on a fairly deserted highway when some speeding inbred in a giant truck chose not to use the open passing lane but instead SWERVED INTO THE SHOULDER to go around me, and then cut me off. Any closer and I would've been a smear on the asphalt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 133

Today, after nearly three hours of watching the new Batman movie, I realized that the film was a waste of time and moments of my life that I will never get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 075