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Red flags popping up all over the place

By Jackie - 01/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that his best friend of 10 years is giving him the silent treatment because he told her he's in a relationship. He's become a depressed wreck. When I asked him if he's secretly in love with her or something, he flipped a table over and told me to, "mind my own fucking business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 183

By DamnHippieSoap - 29/08/2018 23:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 2 273

Smash the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 03:00

Today, I explained to my teenage daughter that enough was enough and she needed to start shaving her armpits again, stating it was unladylike and unsanitary. Her only response was, "If it's so unsanitary, why don't you make my brother do it?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 250

Good job

By thanks Toby dumbfuck - 13/07/2020 14:02

Today, my roommate read an article about unplugging appliances to save on electricity. Too bad the fucking moron also unplugged the fridge. We came home to a corpse-like stench and a fridge full of moldy food. We were gone for two weeks while the sludge marinated in the California heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 315

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 15:30

Spicy

Today, after explaining that I never want kids, I was asked, "Are you sure? I have really strong swimmers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 289

Rude but fair

By BeverlyC - 29/11/2021 08:00

Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 3 215

We live in a society

By tlowbrim - 18/11/2020 02:02

Today, I'm working retail where masks are mandatory. A gentleman comes in with his mask below his chin. I politely say, "Hey dude, if you’re gonna shop here I'm going to need you to keep that mask on properly", to which he replies, "Fuck you, you stupid little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 326

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 236

You deserved it 290

Waze?

By lol - 28/10/2020 09:57

Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 657

Not so sweet brat summer

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 720

Alpha

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 18:01

Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 298

There's more than one subject available

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, I realized how bad my social skills are when I finally landed a date with my crush. We sat down to lunch, and I asked her what her favorite Marvel movies were. She gave a flat, "I don't like those movies." and we deadass sat there in silence for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 933

Hang in there, Grandma

By Anonymous - 09/03/2017 20:00

Today, we'd booked a spot for 20 people for my grandma's birthday. Turns out the reservation didn't go through. Now 20 people are waiting inside and outside for a group of old people to finish eating. They just barely got their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 793

You deserved it 580

Neverending

By Covid3.0 - 12/03/2022 16:00 - United States - Livermore

Today, despite getting all vaccinations and taking all precautions, I've tested positive for Covid. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 382

By préjugéfrançais - 08/04/2013 08:27 - Mexico - Quer

Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me a liar because my dancing was, “too good for a French girl.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 61

By neige - 24/02/2009 00:29 - Sweden

Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only happen in the movies: if you slam the door, all the snow of the roof will fall on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 115

By Hypocrite - 16/04/2017 12:00

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 7 612

Don't make me choose

By Anonymous - 16/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 368

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I vented to my friend about how unhappy I am and how I want to kill myself. What did she say? "Don't do that." That was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 265

By bad dad - 05/06/2019 06:00

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 195

No future

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 00:02

Today, I had no idea my girlfriend had such a poor sense of humour until I pranked her by hiding a plastic spider in the kitchen, and she broke up with me and asked me to move out. She’s not even arachnophobic, so I don’t get her extreme reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 049

What the…

By EmbarrassedMess - 23/05/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had what I thought would be an important (and formal) interview. Not only did I turn up completely overdressed, the man who was interviewing me arrived 30 minutes late. To top it all off, I was so distracted by his mysterious total lack of eyebrows that I forgot everything I had to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 298

You deserved it 532

It wasn't me

By CatLady - 16/06/2017 04:00

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 557

You deserved it 1 394

Chill out, Bugs

By trex_life - 14/03/2021 20:00

Today, I bought my sister a bunny and all it does is try to bang my cat, and shit and piss in my room to mark its territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 555

By imfucked - 26/07/2019 14:00

Today, I found out the paycheck I deposited on Tuesday bounced. This means that the checks I sent to my landlord, the electric and gas company and my mom will also bounce. When I told my boss, we got into an argument over bank fees and he fired me. I had thumped him, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 280

By skiergal98 - 18/08/2019 02:00

Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 264

You deserved it 166

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 16:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, a mom got pissed at me when I didn’t help her kid after it smacked its face into a table on the train. I got up and walked to a new table while she still yelled at me for 10 minutes. Not my mistake, so maybe watch your own mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 161

By crawforda350 - 02/09/2017 11:51

Today, my neighbor that's going through a midlife crisis showed off his brand new Corvette. He did donuts on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 715

You deserved it 326

crawforda350 tells us more.

crawforda350 12

Friday 1 September 2017 20:23

hey, op here, he already agreed to pay for the yard to be fixed, and im not gonna destroy his car, hes a good guy, known him since i moved in(years) but he does stupid stuff at times.

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 20:00

Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 477

You deserved it 491

Hold tight

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, I had a really important meeting for my career. The guy I was supposed to be meeting was driving from across the state, and it was supposed to begin at noon. It's now 4. What if I leave and he shows up after having driven across the state? I don't dare move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 178

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The Top

The Top

Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 794

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 563

You deserved it 5 556

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 137

Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 107

Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I found out that the reason my husband has been coming home late isn’t because of extra work. It’s because he joined a bowling league... and didn’t want me on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 181