When you have to raise the bar... By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris Not much though... Just a bit higher. I agree, your life sucks 263 You deserved it 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 582 You deserved it 570 561
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML I agree, your life sucks 740 You deserved it 119
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 745 You deserved it 3 577
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 000 You deserved it 28 531
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 527 You deserved it 2 638
Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 074 You deserved it 38 436
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 435 You deserved it 61 550
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML I agree, your life sucks 608 You deserved it 889
Savage
she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head.....