When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 309 You deserved it 5 065
Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 124 You deserved it 46 709
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 63 526 You deserved it 3 852
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 436 You deserved it 51 130
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML I agree, your life sucks 5 016 You deserved it 279
Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 702
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...