When there is edible food in my fridge By Lewis - 18/12/2018 18:00 Actually, it never happens... I agree, your life sucks 258 You deserved it 84 Share Tweet Share
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 591 You deserved it 4 583
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 213 You deserved it 9 284
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 534 You deserved it 2 822
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 440 You deserved it 13 442
Today, my husband told me he’s gay, has a boyfriend and will be living with him, but he wants to stay married because it has good tax benefits, plus our joint mortgage, and if he comes out to his father he’ll be cut from the will. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 018 You deserved it 122
Today, in front of all my family, my grandmother said it was so funny how my brother was my mother’s favorite, while my sister was my father’s favorite. When I asked whose favorite I was, there was silence. From everyone. Including my parents. Guess I know where I’m not wanted now. FML I agree, your life sucks 963 You deserved it 137
Calm yourself!
I’ll just grab a quick snack & no one will ever know...