When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was at the gym with my friends when they invited me to do a few bench presses. Since I'd never done any before, I decided to start with no weights on the bar and work my way up from there. I wound up pinned beneath the bar, calling for my friend to come free me. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 859 You deserved it 22 693
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 036 You deserved it 39 359
Today, I was out with friends, A girl approached me out of nowhere and gave me a peck on the cheek, then yelled to my friend, "I kissed him, where's that drink you promised?" only for him to equally loudly reply, "I said I'd buy you a drink to TALK to him." Apparently, even bribery isn't enough for a woman to talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 969 You deserved it 112
Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 086 You deserved it 65 164
Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 344 You deserved it 4 311
Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 166 You deserved it 50 885
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋