Videos: When I try to quit junk food - FML

When I try to quit junk food

By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00

I'm not a quitter!

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 94

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Top comments

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 9 December 2018 2:56

Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 9 December 2018 2:56

Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋

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The Top

The Top

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 693

You deserved it 81 377

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 657

You deserved it 30 323

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 238

You deserved it 47 376

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 711

You deserved it 6 426

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 11 326

Today, I found out that my ex, who fought me tooth and nail for shared custody, doesn’t actually spend time with our daughter during the days he has her, he just takes her to work with him and pawns her off on his secretary, who looks after her all day in a separate office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 147