When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 246 You deserved it 3 114
Today, my best friend is mad at me for "letting my paranoia ruin her relationship." I've been telling her for months now that I don't trust her boyfriend's female best friend, but she never listened to me. Guess who I caught in bed together a few hours ago while my best friend was at work? FML I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 106
Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 043 You deserved it 2 092
Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 769 You deserved it 3 779
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 149
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 420 You deserved it 2 602
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋