When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 019 You deserved it 2 431
Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 71
Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 328 You deserved it 1 926
Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 881 You deserved it 5 113
Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 955 You deserved it 7 528
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 090 You deserved it 17 651
Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML I agree, your life sucks 34 263 You deserved it 9 177
Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 528 You deserved it 4 096
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋