Tough Day By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 00:30 - United States - New York Please don't make me get up. I agree, your life sucks 312 You deserved it 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML I agree, your life sucks 806 You deserved it 2 000
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML I agree, your life sucks 45 381 You deserved it 4 855
Today, I went back to my friends place drunk. As we were walking in, she told me to be quiet, so as not to wake her parents and let them know we were drunk. I then walked in and looked at her parents, who were still awake watching TV, and said, "Shhh. Meg told me not to wake her parents." FML I agree, your life sucks 6 752 You deserved it 3 260
Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 760 You deserved it 1 018
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 327 You deserved it 3 192
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 977 You deserved it 5 647
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML I agree, your life sucks 699 You deserved it 1 320
Today, I decided to sleep in since I didn't really have anything I had to do. I was woken up at 10:30AM thanks to a spam telemarketer. I turned my phone off and went back to sleep, hoping to wake up around noon. I woke up at 1:30PM. FML I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 323