Miscellaneous: Today, my friend said that my sneeze "sounds like a turtle humping...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Cold Warrior - 28/04/2016 15:02 - United States

Today, my friend said that my sneeze "sounds like a turtle humping a shoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 28

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

missadell 17

Friday 29 April 2016 3:37

ah....that's a great video. It's on YouTube, look it up and you'll understand XD

Symphoniaes 32

Friday 29 April 2016 5:25

But that's a really cute noise! It's not a bad thing to be compared to :P

Comments

missadell 17

Friday 29 April 2016 3:37

ah....that's a great video. It's on YouTube, look it up and you'll understand XD

Jakuri 12

Friday 29 April 2016 4:53

That...is an oddly specific comparison.

Symphoniaes 32

Friday 29 April 2016 5:25

But that's a really cute noise! It's not a bad thing to be compared to :P

Canadian0622 17

Friday 29 April 2016 7:14

I usually never sneeze out loud and I hold them in. I tired to this time and it didn't really work, but I'm glad I could at least make them laugh.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 25 year-old brother ran into my room very excited at 8 am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited, I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious, he said, "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 469

You deserved it 9 374

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in a bathroom stall. Someone’s little brat had to come in and peek under the stall. She yelled, "Mommy there are two naked people in here!" Her mother bitched us out for, “ruining her daughter’s innocence." The cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 6 120

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 161

You deserved it 764

Today, I was working at my job at a McDonald's. I was on my break, so I went to use the restroom. When I finished, I tried to open the door, but the lock broke. I was stuck in the basement bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 176

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 507

You deserved it 2 144

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 637

You deserved it 3 559