Health: Today, I shat a magnet. FML

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 688

You deserved it 35 761

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Same thing different taste

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 633

You deserved it 17 985

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 7 351

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 15:10 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 354

You deserved it 2 861

Ouch

By sadface - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 7 510

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 686

You deserved it 993

Woah!

By Mel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 304

You deserved it 13 080

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 789

You deserved it 7 886

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 191

Long drive home

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 04:01 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 413

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

That's when you know you party too hard.

develgool 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:26

Ok when did you have magnet for dinner?

Comments

barlessprison 16

Tuesday 27 September 2011 11:58

It's called "Add to favorites".

glittercookies 12

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:00

Ahaha nice pun

lerouxmaster 7

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:13

Hey there.

iknowimawesome 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 13:37

Herro

usmcsniper16 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:32

best fml ever

draven844 1

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:34

You win. This is how legends are made

dogpup4 23

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:35

Its these short, simple FMLs that make me laugh the hardest.

flagg1888 3

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:40

Hmm this explains the FML I read last week. "today, I ate a magnet. FML"

NoWarranty_fml 14

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:40

A true magnet, like the ones we put on blackboards? WTH dude...

iBiteRoses 22

Sunday 2 October 2011 22:32

You don't put magnets on blackboards?

jedielf 23

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:46

The day you posted it, or the day before, you swallowed a magnet. YDI.

FarSide 22

Tuesday 27 September 2011 13:49

Crapped. Dukied. Number 2'ed. Dropped a load.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 265

You deserved it 2 958

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 220

You deserved it 13 742

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 7 046

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 794

You deserved it 7 045

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 400

You deserved it 3 205

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got ahold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible." He was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 2 272