Health: Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused...

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 591

You deserved it 4 086

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Same thing different taste

By wormsick - 06/12/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tapeworms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 997

You deserved it 3 158

The passenger

By benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 052

You deserved it 4 115

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 714

You deserved it 4 841

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 16:00 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today I discovered the hard way that you can rip your own butthole. Not from having sex though, I ripped my own butt because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 449

You deserved it 5 075

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 117

You deserved it 3 663

By blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 969

Where did you come from?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 2 929

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 343

Belly bounce

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 513

almightyymarcus 6

Sunday 29 May 2016 0:46

You should go to the doctor But I'm Glad you were trying to make a good life decision by trying to live healthier OP keep up the good work

DeadxManxWalking 27

Sunday 29 May 2016 0:44

might want to go see a doctor.

Comments

peckerbeak22 14

Sunday 29 May 2016 18:19

This just grosses me out so much ugh

pudges 4

Sunday 29 May 2016 19:12

Tape worms don't really cause weight loss, there isn't sufficient evidence of weight loss by them, they do however malnourish you, all in saying is most of your weight loss would be from your change in life style, good job!

Sk8brdmenace 17

Sunday 29 May 2016 19:24

I'm trying to rinse the orange juice and pizza taste outta my mouth after the mini-puke I just had after reading this. FYL for sure

Zmanryan3 9

Monday 30 May 2016 2:11

I hope you washed your hand before you posted this FML

liz4cyr 10

Tuesday 31 May 2016 5:41

Preferably before posting this...

Regisord413 10

Monday 30 May 2016 2:44

*Shudder* Really sorry that had to happen to you.

Brindilles 14

Monday 30 May 2016 4:24

You should definitely go see your PCP. Taking it out yourself could lead to bad repercussions. Not to mention, there may still be larvae in your system.