Miscellaneous Today, I got the shits while out surfing, in a wetsuit. Fml - FML

doodlerad - 19/07/2016 08:10 - United States - Kaneohe

Today, I got the shits while out surfing, in a wetsuit. Fml

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

PineapplePizza 15

Wednesday 20 July 2016 7:19

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PineapplePizza 15

Wednesday 20 July 2016 7:19

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

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Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML

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Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML

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Today, I found multiple dating apps in my boyfriend's phone, hidden in a folder with his calculator and calendar. His excuse? He said he was never going to meet up with any of them, he just needed to have a back-up plan. We have been together for five years and live together. FML

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Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

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Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML

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