Intimacy Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

sounds like you got lucky dude, its like a prostitute but free, you got to nail her, you didn't have to pay her and you will never have to buy her dinner again. good deal!

Mariee_x3 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 3:04

Were you by any chance a 34 year old virgin..?

a_maelstrom 7

Saturday 30 March 2013 4:01

That's what happens when you last a minute

shrode65 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 12:59

I hope you "pulled out" of the relationship.

bmanholmes 3

Sunday 14 April 2013 15:36

That's the kinda break up that you can fix with great sex

FmyLifeFan001 8

Tuesday 16 April 2013 2:57

Did u guys finish???

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Wednesday 24 April 2013 4:04

Wow. What did you do?>.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

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Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

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Today, after my son lost an eye in an accident, he has recently been fitted with a professionally made false eye. I thought I could trust him to take it seriously, but nope, turns out when getting the eye made, he secretly insisted the eye be a mixture of blood red and fire yellow to look demonic. FML

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Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

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Today, my dad sent me back and forth repeatedly to the auto parts store for a replacement headlight bulb. He kept insisting that what I brought back was the wrong bulb. I had to drag him there to show I was getting the right one by asking the clerk. He's wrong, but is mad at me for embarrassing him in front of the staff. FML

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Today, someone told me I have male pattern baldness; they thought so because I apparently have a "receding hairline." It's always been this way, I checked my pictures from the time I shaved my head when I was 16. FML

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