Love: Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends,...

By alice5000 - 07/11/2008 05:47 - France

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 472

You deserved it 70 265

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 738

You deserved it 1 532

Hangry

By Tired - 02/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 144

Don't drink and drive

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 10:00

Today, after 7 hours of driving, I begged my wife to take over for the last 3 hours. She pulled out a flask and took a long swig, then smirked at me. I drove the rest of the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 147

Busted

By Gus - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 813

Lost

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 14:22 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 676

You deserved it 39 426

By Stacy Dee - 20/07/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 371

You deserved it 4 506

Me me me

By fthis - 27/01/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 522

You deserved it 4 358

Moody blues

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 610

You deserved it 4 555

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 12:00

Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 88

Random Ass Memory

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 11:01

Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 4 142

nwater 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 15:33

wow you must have been tired to **** that up. You should have rolled with it and went to bed.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 21:41

Whoa. Yeah I side with nwater. If you forgot you were home, you definitely should have gone to bed. People would have bought it.

Comments

FunWriter20 0

Friday 13 February 2009 0:10

I appreciated this moment. It's something I'd do, lol.

michaelscot23 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:36

op=retard

yuhhkno 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 6:21

lmfaoo i hope they took that as a hint to leave!

Pokkyun 0

Friday 30 July 2010 20:19

OP= "Think Before You Act" Dumbass.

timistheman 2

Thursday 12 August 2010 17:28

dumbass

fluffyrocka 0

Friday 5 August 2011 6:52

Jesus masturbation- your argument is invalid

nwater 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 15:33

wow you must have been tired to **** that up. You should have rolled with it and went to bed.

jennaleighhh 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 14:20

yeah #14, i dont get it either...

azhein 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 6:41

how do you not get it. she tried making an excuse to leave by saying they had a long drive but they were at their house

BREADEDELF 3

Monday 23 August 2010 22:07

The real question is how #5 replied to #14

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 21 March 2013 6:08

In the old FML days, instead of moderating a comment, they would just delete it all together & therefore people's numbers would become a previous number. So #5 wasn't originally 5.

x0x_KissOfDeath 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:54

vdm?

MightyMeganLH 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 23:36

i dont get it...and what is VDM?

mxtn 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 22:49

VDM is the French acronym for FML. VDM came first.

christiner51 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 0:31

What's VDM....And I really don't get this. We are home?? Huh?

chapelsen 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 19:58

It's been about 2 years since this post...maybe you know already, but VDM is the French site (the one fml is based off of). It means Vie De Merde, translating literally to Life Of Crap....

zectni 0

Monday 30 March 2009 4:56

i dont get it eitherr...

Hoplaka 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 7:20

She said she was tired for an excuse to get away from her friends. Not thinking she said," Come on honey, it's a long drive home." But they were already home.