To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 354 You deserved it 23 663
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1 490 You deserved it 193
Today, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me for the first time in years, because of the whole Covid-19 situation. Did he want to make sure I am okay? No. In fact, he didn't even ask about me. He just seemed to consider this the perfect opportunity to patronize me some more, and felt the need to tell me to "keep calm." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 684 You deserved it 274
Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 627 You deserved it 160
Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 594 You deserved it 5 670
Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 497 You deserved it 4 167