Nobody wants to dance with me By Lewis - 24/01/2019 00:30 I really don't understand why... I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 222 You deserved it 2 722
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML I agree, your life sucks 63 808 You deserved it 13 711
Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML I agree, your life sucks 42 351 You deserved it 11 516
Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML I agree, your life sucks 77 968 You deserved it 10 326
Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 824 You deserved it 7 326
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML I agree, your life sucks 606 You deserved it 888
That's the best dance ever 😍
Fierce! rawrrr!