Love, Relatable, Dating First Dates Must've been a good joke

Must've been a good joke

HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

It's the way I tell 'em

Anonymous - 11/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was on a first date and wanted to tell my date a joke. I started laughing halfway through telling it because I found it hilarious. She didn’t laugh. Turns out, I completely forgot the punchline and just sat there cackling like a lunatic. Now I’m getting ghosted. FML

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Tonight, on First Dates…

Anonymous - 08/09/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML

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NEXT!

Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

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Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

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That went well

Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

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Cool

Shirly - 04/01/2026 00:00

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

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Facts, feelings…

Jimbob - 28/09/2020 17:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

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Bitch move

Ineedtoshutup - 19/08/2021 16:01

Today, I went to the movies with this guy I'd started dating. During the movie, I thought it would be cool and funny to make sarcastic comments. When he dropped me off home, he told me that it was the worst date ever and to not talk to him again for being "annoying and obnoxious." FML

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Old timey

Anonymous - 06/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

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First Dates

Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

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Hildy93 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:43

Can you do a follow up and tell us the joke??

aliezzo 19

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:36

What an asshole. Screw him he doesn't deserve you op.

watermelon_bae 15

Saturday 25 July 2015 12:32

What a jerk! You can do better than him! If he's gonna be an ass then, find someone better! :)

Oppression_fml 19

Saturday 25 July 2015 12:47

For the sins of the unworthy must be baptized with blood and fear.

mustangbravo 27

Saturday 25 July 2015 12:52

**** that guy. Good for you for trying! Keep looking for the right guy, it will pay off.

boxergirl1054 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 13:09

He doesn't deserve your sense of humor anyway:) good luck next time

hoosiergirl94 31

Saturday 25 July 2015 13:26

That would be SO awkward

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:12

I would like to know his response to a really good joke

Tsukiyomi 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:16

Erm...

be82tw 17

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:34

Way to pick 'em classy, OP. Seriously, if a guy cannot show basic consideration for your feelings, then you probably shouldn't waste time dating him anyways. Good luck.

TCRII 29

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:56

OK. Next time try this one: What's blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz. Or this one: What's brown and sticky? A Stick.... Maybe you should save the jokes for the second or third date.

CaroAurelia 12

Saturday 25 July 2015 15:55

That's so rude. But you dodged a bullet. You need a guy who will not only appreciate your jokes but teach you new, much cornier ones. (I come from a family where the cornier the joke is, the better. At least someone appreciates jokes.)