Drunk, Scary Miscellaneous Lock your doors - FML

Lock your doors

jerrid - - United States

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

34 269

7 825

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

spikey818 9

Sunday 21 February 2010 23:22

the door should have been locked in the first place

deadsrs 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 23:22

I would suggest you lock your doors from now on. Otherwise who knows what might happen to you in the middle of the night. You live were again? *holds up map*

isreal 0

Monday 22 February 2010 6:44

u r a dims iassv

RuralNinja 0

Monday 22 February 2010 6:45

YDI for leaving the door unlocked. You should practically just give your stuff away to the crooks if you're going to make it that easy.

Awnonymous 4

Monday 22 February 2010 7:16

Leaving your door unlocked is only a big deal in America. I'm not kidding either, amerifags.

deanerj 0

Monday 22 February 2010 7:33

GUESS WHO GOD LOVES ? :D

kaylalay91 0

Monday 22 February 2010 8:31

haha!! that's pretty funny lol

MrsUchiha 0

Monday 22 February 2010 8:33

Oh, I figured it out..

astro2 0

Monday 22 February 2010 9:37

wow so many mean comments u guys must be all yanks then my advice is kick him in the nads, tie him up call the cops then sue him for alot of money. Whats his defence gonna be? "sorry your honor i was completely sh*t faced" lol wtf?

spongebob95 0

Monday 22 February 2010 9:39

lmao

banacafalata 0

Monday 22 February 2010 10:45

holy crap! did you call the cops??

Frenz 0

Monday 22 February 2010 10:54

I live in one of those small towns where everyone knows each other and I still keep my door locked at all times.

3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML

2 172

243

Today, I got stuck in rush hour traffic and rushed to the daycare to pick my daughter up. They charged me a late fee for being one minute late. ONE minute. When I protested, the lady said she was gonna scream and call the police if I didn’t pay. It was my last $100 before next payday… next Friday. FML

629

189

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

37 648

3 350

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

87 699

7 428

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at a family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4 year-old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say, "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

56 911

5 781

Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML

1 046

169