Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it, then showed it to all my friends at my party, all while we were eating. FML
Today, my boyfriend was blowing his nose when out of nowhere he started laughing and said, “hey, my nose is exactly like you in bed, I have to finish if off with my finger to get the job done.” FML
Today, I had a panic attack while giving a presentation on how to breathe to avoid having panic attacks. FML
Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML
Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML
Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
A number two in the shape of a number two? Stepdad: FTW! What a flawless victory!
wow, thats just disgusting