Fishing Break Brake Fail! By FML Approved - 07/09/2017 03:30 Easy living isn't always easy... I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 190 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 583 You deserved it 3 397
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML I agree, your life sucks 67 785 You deserved it 13 290
Today, someone accused me of stuffing my bra when some tissue fell out. I was too embarrassed to tell them I wasn't stuffing, the tissue was used to sop up my boob sweat. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 670 You deserved it 1 896
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 256 You deserved it 4 264
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 617 You deserved it 58 955
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML I agree, your life sucks 32 331 You deserved it 4 513
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 292 You deserved it 11 144
Today, I was with my friends doing TikTok dance moves. Mid-spin, I crashed into the coffee table, knocking over a bowl of chips and salsa. My attempt at a graceful recovery ended with me tripping over the salsa-covered rug and landing face-first into the spilled mess. My friends filmed the entire debacle "for the Tok." FML I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 728
Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes.