Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 124 Share Tweet Share
Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML I agree, your life sucks 47 263 You deserved it 5 229
Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 163 You deserved it 3 834
Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 128
Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 113 You deserved it 3 886
Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 406 You deserved it 11 696
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 502 You deserved it 648