Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML
Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML
Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get kind of good. Excited at my results, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response: "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional." First of all, I'm not trying to be THAT good, nor do I expect to. Secondly, ouch. FML
Today, I sat on the sofa for eleven hours, paralyzed with anxiety. When my husband got home, nothing was done. We ate cold sandwiches off paper plates. Now he has to catch up on everything and I feel so useless I could just cry. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
If you weren't annoying he wouldn't need a code-word to tell you about it.
Tell him you need one for when the sex isn't that good...