Miscellaneous Be careful what you wish for - FML

Be careful what you wish for

HolyRavioli - 21/03/2016 17:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I sat at work for eight hours daydreaming about the homemade four-cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending three hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

firecrotch - 04/06/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

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BURNED

Sarah - 19/12/2025 09:00

Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML

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loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

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newcomer - 12/04/2017 05:00 - Canada - Kingston

Today, to treat the family, I cooked something nice in appreciation for sticking it out over the past few tough months. Unfortunately, I chose this one day to not wear my oven mitts when carrying the food to the table, spilling the food all over the carpeted floor. FML

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DarrenP - 03/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

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Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

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welp - 28/10/2015 04:11 - United States - Belton

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

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Now we're cooking

Anonymous - 05/05/2023 15:00 - Canada

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

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Mush

Tired Tater - 05/06/2023 20:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML

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Not my day, is it?

ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

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AyeTee77 18

Monday 21 March 2016 23:00

They don't want you to have ravioli.

swaglesshipster 23

Monday 21 March 2016 23:04

Mr. Crab robot "Ravioli, Ravioli, give me the formuoli"

EnJey0 19

Tuesday 22 March 2016 1:20

The universe is a muenster... I'm sure that ravioli would have been really Gouda. Things will get cheddar though.

Dawnoftime 12

Tuesday 22 March 2016 1:24

*Insert Sad Violin tune*

HoboMeth 33

Tuesday 22 March 2016 1:32

Store it in the pocketoli and bring it to work the next day

limegreenpoopie 31

Tuesday 22 March 2016 2:09

I guess you got overexcited :/

izzajaneful 24

Tuesday 22 March 2016 3:08

This might be the saddest thing I've read on this site.

HollyQuinn 21

Tuesday 22 March 2016 3:17

I always feel super sad when I see someone has slaved over food and then it got ruined before they could eat it :(

Cynistor 9

Tuesday 22 March 2016 3:20

It's a role reversal!! The Ravoli is now forever dreaming about being consume by you and being digested in your tummy

Magnoxidans 19

Tuesday 22 March 2016 3:50

Not kidding, I just ate ravioli before reading this... it was delicious.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 22 March 2016 4:26

That doesn't sound gouda at all, you'd feta be more careful next time when handling hot stuff.

Estelle101_fml 13

Tuesday 22 March 2016 4:46

I feel your pain literally, I'm trying to heal right now. Hot water is dangerous.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, thinking my ex-gothic friend was going through another "wear all black" phase, I walked up to her and jokingly asked who died. Her father. Her father died. FML

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Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

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Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML

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Today, I was in an elevator when some awkward geeky-looking guy walked in. He asked me how my day was, but I said, “You’re not my type, don’t even try.” An hour later, I was at a concert. Turns out he was the lead singer of the opening band. He glared at me angrily when he noticed me in the crowd. FML

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Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

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Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML

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