Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 883 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 346 You deserved it 17 615
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 289 You deserved it 4 611
Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 754 You deserved it 3 610
Today, I was watching my 7 year-old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her, "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied, "Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML I agree, your life sucks 37 017 You deserved it 8 203
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 441 You deserved it 13 442
Today, I went on a hike. About two miles into the five mile trail, my stomach started to bubble and I realized there were no bathrooms nearby. My only options were to literally shit my pants or shit in a bush. Well, I shit in the bush and had no tissue to wipe. I hate having stomach issues. FML I agree, your life sucks 773 You deserved it 157
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.