Weird, Cheating Love Are you serious? - FML

Are you serious?

ummno - - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

A real mess

huh? - 09/05/2022 00:01

Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML

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OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

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Squatters' rights

Anonymous - 23/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Auburn

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

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pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

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krisest1988 - 07/05/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML

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Dude, chill out

U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

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Assumptions

181999 - 14/09/2013 20:47 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

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Leyla - 27/10/2015 01:23 - United States - Franklin

Today, my boyfriend and I respectfully asked my landlady if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet. He was robbed at gunpoint in his house last night. Landlady then yelled because we aren't married, and then showed up at my door at 10pm, "just making sure John isn't here". FML

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Rude awakening

Anonymous - - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

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Home invasion

Anonymous - 07/05/2022 18:01 - Canada

Today, I’m living out of a suitcase this week, so that my ex-boyfriend, who moved across the country and was going to stay with me for a little while, can quarantine in my house with his girlfriend, who I requested wasn’t in my house in the first place. They didn’t ask, just decided while I wasn’t home that it was okay. FML

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Cairo_Sanchez 8

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:55

close the door and go back to bed, problem solved.

ImThePope 2

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:47

Time to inform him you two are done?

ArmyWife5319 2

Friday 21 October 2011 21:22

How is she a home wrecker? She didn't know he had a wife.

smallville300 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 1:20

Kick him to the curve

babe7260 30

Friday 30 March 2012 3:18

Good luck with that!!!!!

Sir_drink_alot 20

Friday 30 November 2012 22:13

I am sure I heard this before, is this a repost or are you just unlucky?

xRezSynn 15

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:40

I hope you shut the door in his face?

ViviMage 39

Thursday 20 June 2013 23:40

YDI for dating a married man. And YDI further if you let him stay. As he cheats, you know now you can't trust him. Out he goes!

fantasyworld 37

Friday 2 January 2015 2:59

Close and lock the door.

kutkutkut 8

Sunday 3 January 2016 18:48

Omg, you wouldn't believe it.

Mist3r_Pnut 6

Monday 26 February 2018 21:27

When and on what channel does this sitcom air?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML

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Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

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Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

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Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

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Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

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Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

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