Teachers

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 253

You deserved it 12 254

By Yocherrypicker - 29/07/2016 01:04

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 220

You deserved it 5 979

Inappropriate

By Abandonedandbroke - 09/06/2021 03:59

Today, my husband quit his teaching job, the job putting bread and butter on the table for our family. The reason? He wants to date one of his students he’s been seeing on the side, and wants to make the relationship "official and ethical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 135

IDGAF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares!" as he walked away, chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 966

You deserved it 4 638

That's more than I asked for

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 619

You deserved it 4 829

Slipping up

By englishfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 516

You deserved it 48 547

Still relevant

By FMJoblessL - 04/02/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 706

You deserved it 2 952

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend, who I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 259

Never sneak up

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 14:01

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 890

Assumptions

By Ugh - 20/06/2026 12:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 787

I hate my job

By norestforthewicked - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend's deaf and senile cat listens to my verbal instructions better than my completely healthy middle school students listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 999

You deserved it 735

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 21/12/2024 00:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, before I washed my husband’s stinky work jacket, I made sure to check the pockets. What I didn’t realise was that there was another pocket which had two USB sticks with all of his students’ work on them. The guilt trip has been going on for hours, and I’m 39 weeks pregnant, stressed out of my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 224

America, hell yeah brother

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 23:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 342

You deserved it 8 350

Weird interaction

By Yue - 23/11/2009 21:14 - Canada

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 617

You deserved it 2 634

Jeremy

By alicia75 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elkhart

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 606

You deserved it 3 637

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 02:56 - United States

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 837

You deserved it 4 685

A tad unfair

By Anonymous - 02/04/2021 14:01

Today, my parents have made it very clear to me that if I fail one more assignment, they’re disowning me. I got a zero on a paper that I poured my heart and soul into, and in the notes, the teacher wrote, “I don’t even need to read this paper to know that it is bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 169

Read the room

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 22:00

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 539

Jump

By Petitprof - 12/11/2010 18:23 - France

Today, someone in my class wrote, "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I'm always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 316

You deserved it 5 348

Wrong target

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 925

You deserved it 38 904

Bad influence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 440

You deserved it 12 019

******* Stevie T

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 08:01

Today, I was happy to take a break and do a guitar performance, but my teacher was the rudest ever. He had his guitar at the front row, playing while I was, and he played the song live with me just to confuse me, and ending up ruining the performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 131

Barely legal

By nikki - 04/01/2022 23:01 - United States - Federal Way

Spicy

Today, my biology teacher subscribed to my OnlyFans. This wouldn’t be weird if the last time I saw or spoke to him wasn't my freshman year of high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 1 970

Nice recommendation, thanks!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 12:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I watched a movie my old teacher recommended me. She was one of my favourite teachers. I saw the title, opened it, and found out that the premise is racist towards my ethnic group. She marked me harshly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 869

You deserved it 4 744

Boss man

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 08:31

Today, after I'd spent all summer creating lesson plans for the fall, I'm finally ready for new students. I'd tested all my lessons with summer school students, who loved them because it taught them to think differently about how to use a computer. My boss told me I can't use it because students won't like it, even though they already did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 227

Billsonhamsen tells us more.

Billsonhamsen 17

Saturday 28 January 2023 8:21

OP here. OP here. My coworker and I quit. I have gone back a few times since and it is always somber there now. The people in charge have a way of killing everyone's spirits even the students. They were always/usually happy when I was there That section of the school lost half the employees in less than 18 months. I was the most recent one to quit. I don't know about the other areas because I don't go there. Anyway we started our own buisness so hopefully in a few years things will be going well. I will probably post again then.

This is going to be one long month

By :|( - 22/10/2013 01:40 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 277

You deserved it 3 019

Something

By Kidsthesedays - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something?" I asked. I was not expecting the answer, "A period mural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 218

You deserved it 3 352

You gotta learn

By duh - 27/01/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, I sang the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song with a class of thirty 20-somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302

You deserved it 26 930

Astrology for nerds

By badprofessor - 19/09/2014 01:44 - United States - Larchmont

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 771

You deserved it 2 736

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Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 949

You deserved it 2 899

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 003

You deserved it 5 665

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 082

You deserved it 4 511

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 6 874

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 365

You deserved it 10 081

Today, I went out for gas, the first time I've been out since my break up. As I was paying, a mob boss was killed in the parking lot. I was questioned for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 138