Painful

Goodbye horses

By Not Again! - 14/06/2019 04:16

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 383

That blows

By Oww - 24/07/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 98

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 99

Healthy life goals

By cuz803 - 07/04/2023 14:00

Today, after a month and a half of recovering from a sprained ankle, I was back in the gym training. After a grueling, sweaty session on the treadmill, I tripped walking down the stairs which sprained my other ankle. Back to round one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 162

Crushed

By Lia Beckworth Morris - 10/07/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I went out with my friends. As I was heading home late, I heard the stop light beeping, meaning I could go, but some cocky prick thought he could drive past before I walked, but nope, I was met with his tire as it ran over my foot. Now I have to go to school with a cast on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 178

Agony

By Megan Stevens - 25/08/2024 22:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 79

Drill baby drill

By anon - 09/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 170

Red flag

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 06:00

Today, I have a broken nose because my girlfriend saw I got a text from a woman called Gemma. Gemma is the name of my ex, so she smashed me in the face with a full cereal bowl. Funny thing, Gemma is also the name of my boss, who was texting me about a work thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 165

Prank gone wrong

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 18:00

Today, my prank-loving girlfriend pushed hot sauce up my penis hole with her tongue by pretending she was going to give me oral sex. It’s been an hour of burning, it’s worse when I pee, and I think I may need a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 264

Curious cat

By brittaneejanex - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 285

You deserved it 4 788

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 12:00 - Ireland

Today, after running a marathon, I was knackered but feeling great. I was walking to my car when I stepped on a shard of glass and had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. I ended up missing the marathon after-party and had to spend the rest of the day in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 144

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 190

Intervention

By _Tatyana_ - 13/06/2013 07:05 - United States - Gettysburg

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 036

You deserved it 3 631

Second opinion

By annoyed - 12/07/2021 22:01 - United Kingdom - Banbury

Today, after three years of being in physical pain, which affects my health and daily life, I was told it's an undiagnosable condition that I'll have to deal with for a long time, as there are no answers and no fixable solution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 110

Make it stop

By ElizaWy - 26/10/2016 15:52

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 723

You deserved it 866

Best teeth in the game

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 17/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had to get three teeth pulled. That would've been fine if they were all on the same side of my mouth. Nope, two were on the upper left and one on the bottom right. I kept thinking my upper lip was gauze it was so numb, and I kept drooling like a baby. I've barely been able to eat as it's so sore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 107

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 253

You deserved it 12 254

Just my luck

By Bonk - 19/01/2023 00:00

Today, I now know how it feels when a football lands directly on the top of your head. While I don't consider myself to be the unluckiest person in the world, I'd say I'm pretty high up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 148

Strike while the iron is hot

By Hatim - 04/04/2023 06:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I had an appointment with my dentist to check for cavities. He told me that most of my teeth have cavities, and that I may need a root canal. In fact, I ended up actually getting a painful root canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 199

Frozen 3

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 210

Deez nuts

By Jeremy - 19/11/2021 01:59 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had the vasectomy my wife wanted. We're living 700 miles apart due to work, so any immediate benefit is not so immediate. Worse, I didn't even get a good luck message before the premiere of the Nutcracker Prince. Now, time for Netflix and no chill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 439

Nature is harsh

By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 964

You deserved it 6 763

How? What?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 679

You deserved it 5 198

There's a party in my pants!

By CatchingUp - 20/10/2022 06:00 - Australia - Waurn Ponds

Today, my period came two days late. After fretting for two days, my body made it up to me by sticking three days of symptoms in one day. I needed Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Scotch, and cuddles before I got any relief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 149

Be prepared!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 16:00 - United States - Washington

Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 118

Ace Of Spades

By MetalisLife - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I thought I died in the shower. I was very intensely playing air guitar while simultaneously headbanging. I punched myself in the dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 725

You deserved it 6 609

Nine inch nails

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 02:00

Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 162

Karen strikes again

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 04:00

Today, a woman maced me from her car window because I was approaching her in a menacing, rapist kind of way. She never happened to consider that my car was in the parking spot right next to hers. She didn’t apologise, just said it was my fault for looking like a rapist, and drove away leaving me half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 117

Pressure point

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I found out that my hip pain was sciatica nerve pain. I found this out when I started getting pins and needles up and down my right leg and foot. Why all the pain is concentrated in my right butt cheek and side though is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 82

GERD Gang!

By Lucyferia Michelle - 09/04/2021 11:00

Today, I learned that I have multiple gallstones, even though the lab report said I only had one. However, the pain is both in my left side and right side, as well as around my navel. I also have Chronic GERD and IBS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 85

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The Top

Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 980

You deserved it 2 223

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 315

You deserved it 34 855

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 54 766

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 396

You deserved it 16 601

Today, I had to cancel my vacation in Norway, which I had been planning for 2 months and had cried and stressed over all that time because this was the first vacation I'd ever planned myself. Now YouTube won't stop showing me ads about visiting Norway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 209

Today, I made the mistake of watching The Daily Show clip where Jon Stewart talks about losing his dog, and it made me think of my dog I lost. Then, right on cue, the song "Every Breath You Take" came on. Now I'm waiting for my doctor's office to open and sobbing in the car, with people staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 224