NSFW

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 20:00

Spicy

Today, my daughter admitted that she was the one who left all the used condoms in the back of my ex-husband's car, which led to us getting a horrible divorce because I thought he cheated and didn't believe him. I never suspected her for a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 537

Wrong door

By apavies444 - 28/11/2010 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents' bedroom by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 185

You deserved it 45 218

Wake up, boo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 20:01

Spicy

Today, my daughter's school is furious because we were 3 hours late picking her up. My son, who was supposed to pick her up, apparently accidentally fell asleep after masturbating himself to exhaustion, which is why when we finally got home he was asleep with his pants down, porn still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 295

By kareed3 - 19/07/2009 16:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 640

You deserved it 4 098

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 942

Stop talking!

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 545

You deserved it 3 704

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 727

You deserved it 6 653

The body keeps the score

By Sold my soul for 5000 - 26/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 630

SHUT UP

By Noname - 22/01/2009 08:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 083

You deserved it 2 559

It's not a phase, Mom

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Covington

Spicy

Today, my mom found my sketchbook full of realistic dicks. She woke me up to show me with concern, and the page she showed as an example was specifically someone getting a handjob. For context, I draw lewd stuff for the laughs, and being an artist just makes it not work out in my favor. She now thinks I am a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 379

ED FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 408

You deserved it 3 524

Noisy lover

By Foxy17 - 05/08/2020 05:01

Spicy

Today, the new heart medication I take makes it hard for me to get an erection. It also gives me gas. My wife is getting sick of me farting when we're finally able to screw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 169

Fairy tale

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 20:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Spicy

Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 370

By youshitme - 25/11/2009 14:45 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 415

You deserved it 7 847

These aren't moans of pleasure

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 158

If only…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 17:57 - Norway - Haugesund

Spicy

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 555

You deserved it 9 063

Bad trip

By MoneyMike - 12/03/2009 00:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 252

You deserved it 11 931

Missed opportunities

By say what?! - 10/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 111

You deserved it 539

Oh, hello…

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 04:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of two years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 702

You deserved it 48 945

Happy birthday, huh?

By Jim - 09/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 142

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 2 136

Single life

By Dxxk Biter - 20/02/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 284

You deserved it 734

Needs

By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Spicy

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 916

Testing the waters

By Anonymousss95 - 10/12/2011 12:03 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 768

You deserved it 13 410

Planning required

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I feel like I’m never going to have satisfying sex again. We have so many kids that I never get a moment’s peace. By the time they’re all taken care of and sleeping, I’m too exhausted to even think about sex. If I do, it’s a “let’s get it out of the way” type quickie to shut my husband up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 316

Every accusation is a confession

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Spicy

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 590

You deserved it 447

Cheeky bastard

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Corona

Spicy

Today, working as a massage therapist at a spa, I had a male client proposition me for “special services.” I declined and ended the session. He got angry and told the front desk that I offered him favors. Now I’m suspended while management investigates, when really it’s just his word against mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 84

Proud dad

By Not a proud dad - 08/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 81

Frustrating

By Noname - 17/01/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 825

You deserved it 39 587

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 345

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The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 397

You deserved it 115 905

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 569

You deserved it 24 668

Random

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 594

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I saw a beautiful girl on the bus. Struck up a good conversation, walked with her all the way to my office. Forgot to ask her name and number. This is the second time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 176

You deserved it 1 626

Today, I got diarrhea. During sex. I didn’t even make it out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 023

You deserved it 377

Today, I went to the hospital, which was super busy. I did a pee test when I first arrived. After 5 hours of waiting, they told me they'd lost my pee. How do you lose someone's piss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 128

Today, my step-kids proudly announced that their mum lets them drink coffee at her house. They both have ADD and I've been struggling for months to get them to eat right. Hello futility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 192

Today, my dad’s in hospice, my son was diagnosed with a second rare disease, my wife is unemployed with alcohol and depression issues, to the extent of having ruined our marriage by driving us into bankruptcy. I have high blood pressure and quite honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack with all this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 78