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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    NSFW

    Thin brown line

    By Poopy - 12/01/2009 16:19 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 964
    You deserved it 8 260
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    Keywords

    Make up Health Miscellaneous Racism #FAFO NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy AITA Love Sexism Kids Relatable Money Cars Work Anger issues LGBTQIA+ Homophobia Religion Friends Weird Jealousy Dogs Animals Technology Videos Neighbours Annoying
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 026
    You deserved it 1 963
    Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 103
    You deserved it 25 643
    Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 213
    You deserved it 2 525
    Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 143
    You deserved it 3 242
    Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our one year anniversary because "He knew I liked them." He has no idea why I am so upset. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 18 610
    You deserved it 47 438
    Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 983
    You deserved it 64 419
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