Miscellaneous

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 5 058

By Why_Not31 - 01/09/2011 21:58 - United States

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 299

You deserved it 7 405

Why_Not31 tells us more.

Why_Not31 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:23

It was one of those knee-high single wire barbed fences they use to keep deer/horses and stuff away from certain places like roads...I think. I don't really know what those fences do, except trip people and hurt a lot. At least it wasn't electric.

By ScottishLad1 - 01/09/2011 15:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 929

You deserved it 3 764

ScottishLad1 tells us more.

ScottishLad1 3

Thursday 1 September 2011 19:29

This was mine, just made this account to explain. I was walking home at about 2 in the morning from a night out, and these three guys just walked up demanding everything. I had been drinking so I wasn't going to say yes, and you know the rest. Thank God no one was there.

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 4 363

By Chris75 - 01/09/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 598

You deserved it 3 879

By bob - 01/09/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 489

You deserved it 2 721

Shut up!

By Beepbeepbeep - 01/09/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 316

You deserved it 4 369

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 555

You deserved it 1 959

By Zolesz96 - 30/08/2011 16:39 - Hungary

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 432

You deserved it 2 544

Zolesz96 tells us more.

Zolesz96 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 15:50

It was a bit of awkward. The girl was a twenty-something and her boyfriend was over thirty. Jó látni a magyar kommenteket.

Student life

By gofixmyhead - 30/08/2011 14:53 - United Kingdom

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 151

You deserved it 4 021

By wtf - 30/08/2011 12:16 - India

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 4 113

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 714

You deserved it 2 828

By TheJazzKid - 30/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 248

You deserved it 2 574

By slut - 29/08/2011 16:22 - Canada

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 370

You deserved it 59 323

By Anonymous - 29/08/2011 13:05 - United States

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 328

You deserved it 41 382

By Ariella - 29/08/2011 04:06 - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 2 464

By Ryan - 28/08/2011 20:10 - United States

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 8 176

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 646

You deserved it 2 532

Piercing wit

By piercingfreak - 28/08/2011 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 894

You deserved it 4 132

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 723

You deserved it 3 259

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 5 647

By concertqueen - 27/08/2011 22:40 - United States

Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 560

You deserved it 2 768

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 571

You deserved it 67 697

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 07:21 - United States

Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 501

You deserved it 6 655

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 3 237

By Peekaboo - 26/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 043

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 754

You deserved it 3 023

scooterr14 tells us more.

scooterr14 5

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:52

im OP.and the break was bad enough that the scholarship was revoked. im not gonna be able to play volleyball for a few years due to ligament damage. im an outside hitter and i wont be able to jump. i could switch to libero but i wouldnt even manage to red shirt. my grades are not high enough for academic entrance

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 04:55 - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 671

You deserved it 8 651