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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Healthy Lifestyle

    Don't mind me

    By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 619
    You deserved it 4 364
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    Irony at a base level

    By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

    Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 368
    You deserved it 7 392
    Share  

    Sexy time

    By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 521
    You deserved it 59 477
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    Keywords

    Embarrassing Work Money Divorce Education Health Miscellaneous Relatable Sports Love Abuse Kids Annoying Hospital Wanker Intimacy Addiction Management Language DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Cooking Coworkers Anniversary Transportation Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 882
    You deserved it 4 321
    Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 353
    You deserved it 5 833
    Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 943
    You deserved it 5 026
    Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is currently dating a girl who lives in Korea. We broke up because I was moving to a different part of the city for college and he thought the distance would be "too much." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 073
    You deserved it 309
    Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I got turned on by a knothole in a tree trunk because it looked a lot like a woman’s downstairs area. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 557
    You deserved it 1 143
    Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 172
    You deserved it 784
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