Health

By 94lbs of muscle - 02/10/2013 18:37

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 462

You deserved it 3 374

By megs2129 - 16/09/2009 21:28 - United States

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 628

You deserved it 4 663

megs2129 tells us more.

megs2129 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:27

It was an expreimental treatment for Endometriosis. And it wasn't only the taste that was bad, it was how it made me feel. There were multiple portions of it, and some sizzled as they went down and stuff like that. The one that made me throw up made me feel like time stopped. I can't explain it, but it was like nothing was right. And it tasted horrible

Ozempic pushers

By Anonymous - 16/09/2025 09:00

Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 81

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 609

You deserved it 517

Stinky

By PUE - 23/07/2022 04:00

Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 568

By ubbernoob - 05/03/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 288

You deserved it 143 047

The Voice

By Stage Fright - 05/12/2022 00:00

Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 174

By ellabellabooboo - 22/03/2015 02:27 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 2 686

By y00na - 17/08/2018 23:30

Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 1 188

By Kayla - 06/10/2018 14:00

Today, it's the third day in a row that my classmate next to me has brought green bean casserole to eat in class. The last two days I could hold back my vomit, but today I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 427

You deserved it 521

Sorry, but it's a no

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 15:01 - Australia - The Oaks

Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 106

What a lovely guy

By pull your goddamn weight! - 15/08/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 237

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Port Talbot

Today, I found out that the girl who I'm really into, and hoped to have a longer term relationship with, has caught threadworms, herpes, and COVID-19 from me. One way to get friendzoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 2 380

By Iskylite - 10/09/2013 21:41 - United States - Spring

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 326

You deserved it 3 707

Iskylite tells us more.

Iskylite 6

Wednesday 11 September 2013 16:30

the doctor said it could've lived inside me for 30 years. I'm glad they got it out :) and yes I'm feeling much better :)

Unusual cruelty

By Angryparent - 06/09/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my overweight daughter’s teacher starved her during a pizza party. She made her wait an hour until the entire class got a slice and their seconds. When it was her turn, there was only one tiny slice. According to her, she, “looks like she hasn’t missed a meal, she’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 376

BIKES

By ihpgolj - 18/06/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 886

You deserved it 43 999

Ouch

By Cindy1897 - 27/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 719

You deserved it 288

Agoraphobic

By jaya - 03/05/2022 12:00

Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 194

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 214

You deserved it 18 126

My brain hates me

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 10:01 - Australia - Jerrabomberra

Today, I had my third incapacitating headache this week. This has been happening for months. Pain killers and other remedies seem to work at random, if at all. Nobody has been able to tell me the cause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 76

All shook up

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, I realized that apparently there are only two general states of mind in my life: 1) Utter mental and physical exhaustion while wondering whether my job has irrevocably ruined my health yet, or 2) depression and latent panic for being an unemployed loser with no stable income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 149

By Dave - 27/09/2012 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 345

You deserved it 2 310

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By ygrowup2fast - 23/04/2020 17:00

Today, my wife wasn't feeling well. She called her doctor, who isn't seeing patients due to COVID. Had to take her to the ER. After numerous tests, they told her that her potassium levels were low. Diagnosis: eat a banana. When we get the bill(s) from the hospital, this will be the most expensive banana ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 295

Captain Hook

By Kortnie Peterman - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 569

You deserved it 615

By wasteroftime - 14/08/2014 21:31 - United States - Granbury

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 798

You deserved it 3 298

wasteroftime tells us more.

wasteroftime 8

Saturday 16 August 2014 2:39

OP here! Thank you all for the praise, I honestly did not think twice when I jumped up and performed the Heimlich maneuver on her. One thing I want to make clear here was not that my situation was worse than my friends, but the fact that the wait staff had no remorse about what had just happened although they stood there and watched me save her life. Learning the Heimlich can really be life saving before you know it :)