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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Fight

    Sorry, I…

    By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

    Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 883
    You deserved it 41 913
    Share  

    Cassius

    By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

    Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 484
    You deserved it 9 482
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    Keywords

    Relatable Fire Work Animals Dogs Kids Social Media Vacation Family Parents Ironic Miscellaneous Cute Fight Weird Toys Health Relationships Medication Gross Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Funerals My ex I need your advice Love Harassment Intimacy Sex Friends
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
    I agree, your life sucks 16 558
    You deserved it 1 583
    Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 19 994
    You deserved it 1 695
    Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 55 318
    You deserved it 4 299
    Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 990
    You deserved it 3 106
    Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 907
    You deserved it 3 604
    Today, I was having sex with a guy that I had been dating for a while, when I suddenly went into an anaphylactic shock. Instead of helping me and calling the emergency line as I was losing consciousness, the guy drunkenly slurred to me that I should "just calm down" and then went into a deep snoring sleep. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 944
    You deserved it 535
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