Cops

By randinosaur - 13/03/2011 12:48 - United States

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 195

You deserved it 4 262

Police protected wedding

By Tiana - 14/03/2022 02:00

Today, my stepfather currently has a restraining order of 1 Km because he kept on stalking me and my fiancée. I'm getting married in a week and I just found out that my mother invited him. I need to think fast on how to stop this scumbag from showing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 84

Drugs are bad

By KookieLove666 - 10/08/2022 06:00

Today, my pill-popping mom, committing disability fraud and stealing from me, called the cops on me, and dragged the landlord into it, is now getting both of us evicted. All this because she'd rather live homeless with her drug problem than to get the help she needs, which I can't provide anymore after 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 114

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 230

You deserved it 3 794

Bit of an overreaction

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 16:00

Today, my girlfriend firmly believes that wild Karens should be classed as vermin, as proven when we met a screaming Karen in Starbucks and my girlfriend jumped straight in there and kicked her ass until she stopped screaming. I'm now waiting to pick her up at the police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 199

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 130

Put it away!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Grove

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 987

You deserved it 35 072

Petty officer

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 174

You deserved it 3 760

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 379

You deserved it 3 543

No favors

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 18 409

Being boring

By dicedicebaby - 23/03/2015 00:20 - United States - Columbus

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 732

You deserved it 3 457

Am I being detained?

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 639

There's a first time for anything

By OptimalPath - 27/09/2023 06:00

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 779

By Steven - 14/07/2023 16:00

Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 937

Funny, huh?

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 14:00

Today, I was sole witness to an armed robbery. The police farted around so much while not letting me leave until they took my statement that I missed my own fucking wedding. I was in my suit, and literally begging to be allowed to leave. One even joked he was probably doing me a big favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 139

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 22:00

Today, a guy cut me off on the freeway, so I followed him, intent on confronting him. He turned off and went down a side road… right to the gate of a government base, which opened. I did a U-turn and hauled ass, only to get stopped by cops and grilled relentlessly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 792

Alexa, play "911 Is a Joke" by Public Enemy

By A.C.A.B. - 04/08/2022 22:00

Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 145

One law for thee…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Springfield

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 993

You deserved it 6 842

Dogging at home

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 142

By Undercover - 12/10/2009 08:38 - United States

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 4 427

No escape

By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 316

You deserved it 203 420

Traffic stop

By Arrested - 25/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my brother found out that getting pulled over is technically getting arrested. Almost on cue, we got pulled over because my dad doesn't realize that "stop at a Stop sign" doesn't mean "slow down to a crawl, then go." My brother then started yelling, "WE'RE BEING ARRESTED!" At least the cop thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 176

This is America

By ChiefKoala - 20/10/2019 22:00

Today, it will be the third time since moving to this area that I will have to call out of work because of gunshots heard nearby, police looking for someone and advising us to stay indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 235

The struggle is real

By new mom - 12/01/2023 15:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was arrested and had to spend the night in jail because I was caught stealing baby formula from Walmart. I’ve been struggling to find work ever since I gave birth a few months ago, and have been a stay-at-home mom ever since. Even my boyfriend has been struggling to find better work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 413

Nice guy to the rescue

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 01:59

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 1 390

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 323

Tantrum

By brokedad - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 311

You deserved it 7 588

Busted

By Sometimes you gotta get tough - 02/01/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 115

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 97

DMV blues

By usadisvet - 02/04/2015 06:43 - United States - Loudon

Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 349

You deserved it 2 648

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Messy Animals Dogs Cute Love Miscellaneous ACAB Cops Intimacy Thief NSFW Sex Fight #FAFO Kids Parents Sexism Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 155

You deserved it 3 373

Today, I was at work at a coffee shop. We charge 50 cents every 15 minutes of use of our computers. An old man tried sneaking out without paying after being at a computer. As I was telling him to pay for his time, he threw a bagel at me and ran to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 104

Today, my son told me he failed to get into the army, which I didn’t know he was trying to do. Apparently he thought playing Call of Duty non-stop counted as "experience" and that he’d become an officer rank straight away, despite being 10-stone overweight with the brains of a tree stump FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 267

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 055

You deserved it 7 528

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 19 687

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 025

You deserved it 5 090