AITA

Entitled to personal attacks

By Fuck you asshole! - 18/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was told that I was an “entitled snowflake.” I'd mentioned that after 5+ years of cancer treatment and over a dozen surgeries, I still have some physical limitations. I literally almost died but still managed to finish school and change careers, but yeah, I’m entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 115

Interference

By Anonymous - 18/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - L'Assomption

Today, I found out that my "I don't care about boy problems" friend decided it would be a great idea to talk to my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend about me. My ex was the one who told me. He thought I'd asked my friend to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 118

Don't hold back

By You asked... - 17/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, a friend of mine asked me to proofread her essay. "Don't hold back," she said. I took a look at it. It looked like it was written by a third grader, and she's in college. After spending a huge amount of time marking all of her mistakes, I gave it back. She got upset at me for being "extremely critical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 84

Desperate housewife

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 003

Meddling

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 22:00 - India

Today, after I tried to help my friend bust his cheating girlfriend, he seems to still trust her, so now my office friends think I'm a bigmouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 185

Attempted good deed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 531

Why not both?

By Rob - 14/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife is furious with me because I would rather our teenage son see a counselor instead of a psychiatrist. I want our son to learn healthy coping mechanisms for life, not just take pills to make everything go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 444

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 460

Ignorance is bliss

By JasonThorn - 12/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I can't share most of the great things going on in my life with my family, because they will respond with lectures about indulging, or doubt about what is going on, and will refuse to continue talking, or say I am wrong when I speak the verifiable truth. I hate putting my family on information diets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 115

Orange river splashing

By nightwalker2253 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Orange

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 892

You deserved it 2 514

Dr Phil

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and, like any sane person, eavesdropped on the couple in front of me. The guy was breaking up with his girlfriend, and she was crying. As they got off, I patted her on the back and said, "You can do better, honey." It wasn’t until the doors closed that I realized I had just encouraged my boss's wife to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 560

Dionysus wept

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he looked like a Greek god. He looked confused and said, "Thanks, I guess? But aren’t they all fat and drunk?" I’m dating a man who thinks Greek gods are just overweight party animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 166

Check yourself out

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 189

Alexa, play "Out of Time" by Blur

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my wife finally actually started trying with life again, perfectly in time for me to have already given up on us at the start of the week, having spent way too long trying to fix things. She keeps on pushing all this future planning stuff when I'm just wanting to walk at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 154

Give him a week

By Allie - 01/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I touched my friend's hard junk under my foot through his jeans as we played games on the couch. He didn't move away and kept jiggling my thighs playfully, so I didn't stop. When he left, I texted him I liked what I felt and got no response. I killed a 7 year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 251

Origin story

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend of six months was holding me and said, "I'm glad she sent you to my room." We met at a bar. Later I learned that, when he was younger and in a foreign country for a mission, a nurse in his hotel sent a younger nurse to his room. It felt as bad as being called by another woman's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 125

Copycat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Nuneaton

Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 108

You deserved it 2 008

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 20:00

Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 108

Make a scene

By JoblessandStupid - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I got pissed and tried to storm out of work, only to get outside and realize I couldn't because I'd let my coworker borrow my car for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 792

You deserved it 2 688

I'm not getting paid enough for this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was promoted to Executive Assistant of our new managing director. Alas, no one told me that, alongside her occasional periods of managerial brilliance, she has severe ADHD and dyslexia, so as well as an assistant I’m also her babysitter, interpreter, maid, nurse, tutor, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 126

Dramatic

By FML - 26/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was on my period, so I felt a little emotional, and asked my boyfriend for some attention. He said he needed ten minutes to finish his game with his friend. I laid down on the floor and started crying hysterically. He broke up with me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 1 318

Oh no you don't!

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 911

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 1 470

Fumbled

By Dean - 23/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 691

Where are we going?

By Fionaaaa? - 22/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed his love to me, and I confessed the same back. However, I have a boyfriend who gives me mixed signals and is rude but sometimes not, and my best friend isn't ready to date so for now it’s FWB, and he's also is starting to give a little bit of mixed signals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 866

Love is sometimes just love

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was looking for proof that my dad’s much younger girlfriend is just a dumb gold digging slut looking for a payday. Turns out she has a PhD, owns her own home, and makes six figures. So what’s she doing with his old ass? FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 941

Was it "Girl Afraid" by The Smiths?

By what - 21/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 584

Influencer in the wild

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with this girl who turned up with bags of Instagram camera equipment. She photographed everything, the drinks, food, and yet we barely said a word to each other. In the end, I paid my half and left. She didn’t notice I’d gone for at least 15 minutes before texting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 88

Dirty girl

By I like sex dirty but not THAT dirty! - 20/07/2024 20:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is upset because I’ve been turning him down when he tries to initiate sex as soon as I walk in the door. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse and the thought of getting into bed without showering away all the day's germs repulses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 177

Going well, isn't it?

By Abandon - 20/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 199

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex Love Sex Weird Surprise Work Miscellaneous Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Birthday Cute Embarrassing Games Weddings Awkward Money Suspicious Music Drunk Cops Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Family

The Top

Today, my friend bought a new car. He left his old car at the dealership and asked me if I could go back with him, and then I'd follow him back to his house in his old car. That was fine, except he forgot to mention the car had no brakes. I hit his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 995

You deserved it 1 279

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 2 844

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 715

You deserved it 36 351

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 530

You deserved it 4 665

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 043

You deserved it 40 354

Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 684

You deserved it 32 203