Animals Today, while locking up after work, I got scared by a small rat... - FML

Pocket_Aces2552 - 10/04/2016 20:24 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, while locking up after work, I got scared by a small rat rustling through the leaves. I'm a 20 year old man, and supposed to be the tough manager of the restaraunt. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

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Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

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Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

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Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML

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Today, I found out that I'm sensitive to the NuvaRing. It felt like I was a buffet for fire ants. FML

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Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML

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