dlashayj2

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Dlashayj2's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

agreeclassic 267 597

vote type 1 90 937

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 14:43 - United States - Tyler

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

agreeclassic 30 226

vote type 1 2 820

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 09:59 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

agreeclassic 32 163

vote type 1 2 676

By Australian Lifeguard - 22/10/2014 03:18 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

agreeclassic 36 874

vote type 1 4 037

By Apcn - 05/06/2014 20:05 - France - Concarneau

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

agreeclassic 409

vote type 1 38