Somethingmeaning

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Somethingmeaning's favorite FMLs

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

agreeclassic 17 387

vote type 1 47 252

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 15:34 - United States - Waterville

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

agreeclassic 37 582

vote type 1 4 520

By Anonymous - 19/11/2014 17:40 - Canada - Windsor

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

agreeclassic 41 251

vote type 1 3 723

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By FlyLikeABird - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

agreeclassic 26 917

vote type 1 4 461

By nosestealer - 07/07/2013 21:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

agreeclassic 58 491

vote type 1 9 876