neilmalik

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I live in Cali so far I'm lovin it

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Neilmalik's favorite FMLs

Sixth sense

By RecentCollegeGrad - 17/06/2015 18:09

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

agreeclassic 34 601

vote type 1 9 934

Fish 101

By liishax3 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him." I was wrong. FML

agreeclassic 34 380

vote type 1 10 112

By HowAreYouAlive - 09/07/2014 04:24 - United States - Ashburn

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

agreeclassic 47 734

vote type 1 3 895

By BetterThanChocolate - 20/04/2014 23:24 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

agreeclassic 48 202

vote type 1 5 610

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 04:03 - United States - Meridian

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

agreeclassic 57 301

vote type 1 5 054