flij

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Eden Prairie, USA
51 years-old
Friday 18 January 1974
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Flij's favorite FMLs

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

agreeclassic 44 853

vote type 1 5 049

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

agreeclassic 48 059

vote type 1 6 864

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

agreeclassic 55 111

vote type 1 10 275

By anon - 03/12/2013 04:26 - United States - Elkhart

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

agreeclassic 47 340

vote type 1 17 611

By fack - 26/11/2013 18:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

agreeclassic 41 554

vote type 1 10 189