xlotus09

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Xlotus09's favorite FMLs

Terrible prank

By Malakai - 02/02/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

agreeclassic 48 866

vote type 1 8 487

By Anonymous - 04/08/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

agreeclassic 46 374

vote type 1 7 949

By who_could_it_be - 06/08/2009 13:35 - Canada

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

agreeclassic 31 574

vote type 1 570 459

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

agreeclassic 799

vote type 1 1 940

By rexob - 04/02/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

agreeclassic 245 518

vote type 1 13 947

rexob app_comment_confession_title

rexob 0

Monday 9 February 2009 23:13

thanks for all those who are genuinely concerned...i really appreciate it. i'm hanging in there, and hopefully my sister will be alright. we've been to therapy and i think it's helped her, but i don't know how this will come up later in life for us. again, i really appreciate those of you who took this seriously.